WORDS

19.11.20

– Are the driven & successful folks just deluded & shallow?
Are the spiritual & contemplative folks just lazy & weak?

– Phenom: The Undertaker (WWE)
“Hey Mr. Deadman… REJOICE!” – From “Set your eyes to Zion” by POD

– portly

– Movies:
“ரெட்டைவால் குருவி” (1987)
How would the same film be, if it was a drama, instead of comedy?

– It’s not a matter of whether we love each other or not (I have no doubts about that!), it’s about whether we are radically incompatible persons, and whether staying together is actually worse for both, than going apart.
We shouldn’t stay together, just because we are used to it, and adapting to a new mode of life is actually more difficult than continuing this stagnant & conflicted bond. As UG says, “Fear is your God!”… and I don’t want to be a coward.
I would give one more day to make such a major decision. Then maybe, try a period of separation, before deciding on permanent divorce or coming back together.

Do we both agree on certain fundamental guidelines (clear agreements/definitions/lines on mutually acceptable behavior) to help us navigate the psychological turmoils of an intimate relationship?
Do we both feel that we can still be true to ourselves in this relationship, or is it necessary to sacrifice (what is essential to) ourselves in order to continue as a couple?
Are we prepared to do the right thing even though it is difficult, or are we just going to continue living together, just because it is easier (although it is also worse for both of us)?
What if we are willing to accept, & work on, our faults? But does that help, or make any difference, when we just cannot change or do not have the capacity to go beyond certain personal limitations??

20.11.20

– “That’s just the way it is” (Phil Collins)
+
“Medicate” (Theory of a Deadman)
=
? 🙆♂️

21.11.20

– The belief that “we will all meet our loved ones again in Heaven”, is NOT Christian! 💥
Do you know why??
Matt. 22:23-33

– Well, if you’re not (willing to be called) anachronistic, then you’re not (ready to be) a Christian!

– applets

– “The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of our God endures forever.” – Isa. 40:8
Is this just another way of saying that change is the only constant?
The Christian answer would definitely be NO!
But not mine……

– Could my critique of the ideal of greatness, by counter-culturally emphasizing being over doing, itself be the sign of a new kind of greatness??

23.11.20

– I’m quite proud that I am an inter-generational & cross-cultural resource person!

– Benign hegemon
Global custodian

– Routine – shift from daily/weekly to session/day-order rhythm! 😎

24.11.20

– Incarnation (“GOD with us, GOD in the other”)
+
Monotheism (“The LORD your God is one, and you shall have no other gods before me”)
=
?

25.11.20

– Unconscious & systemic glocal dynamics
AMA (Ask Me Anything)
Creative non-fiction

26.11.20

– Movies:
“Murder by Contract” (1958)

27.11.20

– Gallows humor
Shadow pandemic
Triple whammy
Stimulus package
Marginally employed
Relief programs
Group Relations
Fascinating mess
Exposing limitations
Amplification of gaps
gaslighting
granular
Eco-leadership
Spirituality ~ ancient practices + communal faith + inner journey
Viral DNA & divine relationship
Elevated through excavations
Consciousness & compassion
Exploring inter-connections
Being present to the other, in oneself
hermitage
The basis (of life), is tapping into the source and living out of that center
Monk mentality
Shifting the language around the phenomenon
Emerging developmental paradigm
Enjoining resilience
Dormant capacities
Quasi-manic/frenetic existence
Getting into the deeper why of us
Connecting the spiritual & the political via the academic

– Who is Randal Rauser?

– This is what I want to believe,
And this is what I’m afraid I might have to believe!
But remember, there is always some truth to desire and some desire in truth.

28.11.20

– What does Nelly Kent’s tattoo say??
Okay…
But what does that mean?!

– Catalysing resilience & planning recovery
Running on fumes
Comfort with telecommuting
Strategic initiatives
Customized training
Field experiments
Designing the new normal!
Facing down reality
Hope for the best, but also prepare for the worst
Reframing the struggle
hand-offs
Improvising via agile processes
Crisis management
Paradox(ical) research(ing)
cross-training
debriefing ~ cross-examining
mendacity

– Group support & feedback is essential to sustain a highly reflective (& therefore self-aware) lifestyle – it cannot be done alone!
Member-leaders & leader-members

– Loving the people in your life and being grateful for what you have, is an integral part of “being present”!

29.11.20

– Vision is nothing but inverted reflection – mirror image(s) all!

– “Blood Sugar Sex Magik”
Golf retreat
Real tattoos
Mood piece

– Flaunty pornstars – my Baudlerian goddesses!

– Have you ever pissed (on the earth) from a 4th floor balcony?

– Loneliness – I’m surrounded by intercourse on AC mechanics, wedding dates & snake-spotting in the campus……
;-(

– No (pro-)choice, no (pro-)life!

4.12.20

– “Stay invested”

– Movies:
“A Death in the Gunj” (Hindi/Bengali/English)
Could happen to any person/family/group! Being alert/aware, requires some minimal element of spirituality, otherwise unnecessary tragedies like this will continue unabated……

– Undertaker (WWE) & Deadman (POD)

5.12.20

– Self-inspiration
I miss me!

– reCAPTCHA
OTT (platform)

6.12.20

– The quiet imp

10.12.20

– Zen Koans & Bataillean nihilism

26.11.20

– “Just tangle on”
Get your breath back first!

30.11.20

– Between bio-social determinism & romantic idealism
Science + Art = ?!

2.12.20

– dysthymia

4.12.20

– Club Kayden

6.12.20

– But… hey Nietzsche, what if the murder of GOD was HIS plan all along?!

– No more quotes or extracts…
ONLY (my) speech!

– indolence
subsidence
sinecure
gaucherie

6.12.20

– deepfakes

10.12.20

– perdurant
wheedle
lactescent

13.12.20

– Decided to spend 1 hour in silence, solitude & stillness everyday. Half of it in mindful meditation, and half in “just sitting” (alternating 15 minutes each).
Then spend around 15 minutes (each) in writing & drawing.
Reduce all cognitive/sensory input like reading, social networking, TV, music, video, etc.
Don’t talk unnecessarily.
Study contemplative living, etc.
If I can continue this for 1 year, it would be a great intro to Zen for me!

– counterpoise

– Extreme eclecticism:
Dogmatism + nihilism
Non-dualism + monotheism

– 1 hour contemplation (NOT meditation) = 25 minutes shikantaza –> 5 minutes chair relaxation –> 25 minutes shikantaza –> 5 minutes chair relaxation

– arhat

14.12.20

– Contemplative Studies
Hermeneutics of silence
Intimate thought
Shikantaza
Zentangle

– Magic number: 3.5!
E.g. Weekly holidays ~ 7/3.5 = 2

– Reading to add content to the mind
Vs.
Reading to alter the structure of the mind

15.12.20

– Sit, facing the wall! 👹
Become adept at shikantaza for 1 hour (without break), by practising everyday for 1 year.
practice-realization
Spirituality without salvation
Anti-enlightenment discipline
Inverse wisdom

– doula
Octavia Butler
Afrofuturism

– Focus.
On the point of
Contact.

– The difference between life & death, is real!

– Time for a new Masters & Johnson!

16.12.20

– Contemplative community

– Time
Vs.
Money

– Rain tree; Saman; Monkeypod
halter

– Why is the distinction between meditation & contemplation so important (for me)?
(Also distinguish from introspection)

– Is it possible to have solid intimacy without cultural conformity?
Actually, is it possible to have the former, with the latter?!

– Activating (verb & adjective!) awareness

– “Critical first-person discourse”

– Who is Maitland Ward?

– Decontextualize and reconceptualize

17.12.20

– A mature person or leader is one for whom, doing the right/good thing is easy and doing the wrong/bad thing is difficult.

– Some thoughts on career (mainly for the middle/professional class):

Complete schooling ~ 17 years of age. Undergo vocational guidance by then.
1 year break! Go wild.
Next 3 years – experience & exploration – deciding on vocation/calling, after broad-based UG course ~ age 21.
Higher education in chosen field (with interdisciplinary focus) ~ 21-27.

Dividing the working life into 3 stages – first 10 years (27-37), 2nd decade (37-47) and the last remaining years (47-death).

1. Foundation – gain experience & further qualification in a high class institution. Heavy dependence on the employer.
2. Consolidation – promotion and more responsibility. Make a difference in your own organization.
3. Maturity – leadership – become independent resource person! Entrepreneurship, etc.
Go toward needy area and make your contribution!

– What is Wim Hof?

– IPL & international test cricket ~ OSM & DRL?

– Ind-Aus test series predictions:
Gavasker – India 2-1
Hayden – Australia 3-0
Joseph – my head says Australia 2-1, my heart goes with Sunny 😉

– Why would someone of the caliber of Sourav Ganguly & Amitab Bachan do commercials?!
Caliber + cheapness 🤪

– Maybe one secret to fulfillment in adulthood/middle-age is reclaiming the best/chief aspects of one’s childhood!
E.g. Outdoor activities, cousins/friends, role-models, etc.

– cordon
doyen
detuned & retoning
crib

– Modernity & heroism
Should “Denial of Death” have been renamed as something with “heroism” in the title?

– Maybe the hardest part about being an athlete, is to be forced to sit on the sidelines, because of injury or failure or injustice……!

– I’ve not yet become a contemplative/monk/sage, because I don’t consistently feel alert/relaxed/growing – I still feel that my life is too long/dragging/boring, not knowing what the fuck to do with myself most of the time – when there’s nothing or not much (fixed/urgent/compulsory) to do! And when busy, I still feel equally frustrated 😅
Hmmm…… shouldn’t I have overcome this by now (41)?? 🤷🏾♂️
Better late than never?

– Distinguish average & strike rate for bowlers

– Today, what was Mayank Agarwal’s mistake? What should be learnt (by him & me) from his dismissal?

– What is 1 session in test cricket?

– The Iceman challenge & the very first experience of a newborn

– Post freak-out ritual
Genetic traumas
Technical knock-out

– Convenience – a curse in disguise?

19.12.20

– From Indian supporter to sports connoisseur ~ From egocentric spiritualist pretender to wise/mature man
The GAME > any player/team/match

– Any “reasons” behind the batting horror show today morning??
Should they just be excused , by saying, “sometimes (rarely) shit happens”

– suchness

– From enlightenment/perfection to maturity/improvisation!
From expecting liberation –> accepting difficulty
Action, liberated from emotion

– The crucified GOD – why wouldn’t the one who was willing then, to be captured, humiliated, tortured & killed, not be ready to be judged (& condemned) as the greatest evil empire in the history of mankind (Christendom) today…!? 🙃
False messiah is the most effective disguise for the real one, isn’t it?
Remember “GOD walks into Abar”…

– Better just sit, facing the wall…
Before your balls get pushed against the wall!

– Unscripted play

22.12.20

– The value & power of NOTHING

– Keep all options open (chores, spirituality & entertainment) at every moment of any day!
1 hour contemplation everyday.
Be active, but slow & steady, with frequent mini-breaks of relaxation (15 minutes).
Push/stretch : relax/freak ~ 2.5:1

24.12.20

– nix

25.12.20

– Christmas pageant

– “BABY JESUS
pa rum pa pum pum,
I AM A POOR BOY TOO
pa rum pa pum pum.
I HAVE NO GIFT TO BRING
pa rum pa pum pum
THAT’S FIT TO GIVE OUR KING
pa rum pa pum pum
rum pa pum pum
rum pa pum pum…”
– Little Drummer Boy

– Cosmic hymn

27.12.20

– Trying not to try ~ learning not to resist

– My insight this Christmas – keep on visiting the holy infant year after year after year! 😎

– Sinister (aspects of) spirituality
Imaginative presence
Veridical experience
Non-perceptual images
Justified beliefs
Make-perceive
Absurd realities
Putative self
Identifying with the numinous other
Unintentional activity
telepresence
Ritual lynching
surreptitious
Sublime slaughter
metempsychosis

– If & when mankind conquers ageing & death, what happens to religion & philosophy?

31.12.20

– gibbet
unbehagen

5.1.21

– Gutter poets

7.1.21

– Dry run

8.1.21

– Taming the beast,
And riding the wave!

9.1.21

– Whenever life feels like pathetic, lethal existence,
Just get a strong taste/dose of death.
That’ll waken you up!

– Take your time,
Slow the breath down,
And just watch……

NOTHING, happens!

– Violent contemplation
Loud meditation

– “What is mean street?” (From one of my recent & most vivid dreams!)
Just Google it and see what happens…

– hui

– Movies:
“Good Time” (2017)
“Nocturnal Animals” (2016)
“Lens” (Tamil/Malayalam/Hindi/English)

10.1.21

– quackery
Unolingo
oxtail
gherao

11.1.21

– Zero day/Day zero
antipode
fulminate
Steinerian Anthroposophy
Emersonian Transcendentalism
irruption
Quotidian logic
Ineffable boredom
empyreal
lurid
shinrinyoku
Sexual seer
galimatias
gasconade
Sinister spirituality
patois
anacoluthon
enucleate
Masochistic narcissism
Moral arrogance
Facile assumptions
argot
The gestation of pious violence
Moldering offal
treacle
Noisome body
Enwombing love
Holy holocaust
Murderous martyrdom
Apocalyptic register of the sublime
enciphered
Sadistic mysticism
Terrorist theology
Deified fantasy
Opprobrious defilers
sanctimony
apotropaic
Amida (Buddha)
Ecclesiastical miasma
ensorcelled
Guernican confusion
Hive catalepsy
Normotic insanity
Insouciant blasé
Normative illness
osculate
Sublime atrocities
gorge
aplomb
deracinate
Euphemistic deception
Illuminating apostasies
iridescence
craquelure

– Who is Helen Tartar?

– I am torn between the 2 opposing ideals of learning to contently enjoy my ordinary life, and pursuing/achieving greatness.
Finally, stuck in the rut of misery and mediocrity, unable to choose or attain either of them……!

– Where is the discipline in your pleasure?
And where is your pleasure in the discipline?

That which breaks me is what makes me,
And that which makes me is what breaks me!

– Movies:
“Serenity” (2005)

– Mitigating vulnerability

12.1.21

– frangible
scrabble

– pronominal
subtilization

– Spirituality as sandboxing

13.1.21

– Rädēō – operatic metal porn

– hollyhock
un-becom-ing
un-like-ing
Organized crime

– Life is, nothing but, a long(?) episode of break-up sex!

– Love is,
Self-destruction.

14.1.21

– delectation
pullulate
interdict
workerist
dither
vacuolization
puissance
hecatomb
parodic
cinder

15.1.21

– imbrication
– recusant
– toggle
– transitive
– mitre
– anamorphic
– Stock litany
– sparagmos
– “Holy shit”
– Mystical counterpolitics

17.1.21

– fulguration
– oneiric
– inf(l)ect
– unctuous
– bacchanalia