Category: Journal

WASSUP

22.7.16
 
– Harnessing & channeling sexual energy for spiritual growth
 
– The transcending of the ego, & the resultant communion with GOD, through the pushing of the self to the extreme, when transformation is the exact opposite of survival!
Heb. 10:20
Come on, let’s do it.
It’s do or die.
We’ve got nothing left to lose, & everything to gain.
 
– When are we (not) relatively speaking?
 
– Adding new/foreign elements to the mix – dangerous (for preservation) & essential (for development)!
 
– It is better to be another small (forgotten/unnoticed, but not insignificant) link in the tangential chain of change, rather than a huge cog in the wheel of stagnant rotation…
Who knows what I could be contributing to, in the future, with my small steps of faith & hope!?
 
– Sexual promiscuity could be either due to inner emptiness (leading to addiction) or spiritual fullness (self-expansion).
Right?
What about the entrepreneurial spirit? Why is that not seen as ‘just greed’, but instead glorified, as the drive to discover, create & improve?
 
– Extreme sensuality becomes spiritual
&
Extreme spirituality becomes sensual
 
– From dualism (morality) to triadism (spirituality)!
There is no non-duality.
 
– What is love without lust?
What is conscience without desire?
 
– The discipline of indulgence & passivity.
Those who can never, fully let go of themselves in gay abandon or, experience bliss in absolute stillness, are as retarded and morbid as those who lack will-power & ethical seriousness!
Distinguish:
Infantility (raw childishness that characterizes pre-adolescence)
&
Immaturity (the final barrier to adulthood, on the other side of adolescence)
Only those who overcome both these phases will reach true adulthood. Now that’s a challenge great & worthy enough of our lifelong pursuit!
There are those who have no concern or desire for maturity, & there are those who diligently seek it, but do not have a clear or complete vision of it.
 
– The quintessential question is NOT “Why?”, but “Why NOT?”.
That is the prerogative of the human, the god-animal!
 
– Cyber/remote sex
&
The Kingdom of GOD/Garden of Eden/Heaven/New Earth/City of Man
The luminous dark… Sensücht!
 
– Carnal lust
&
Divine discontent
Burning bush
Vs.
Burnt offering
 
– Sentience & sapience
 
– Cutting edge – the growing facet is always bleeding!
 
– Too neat to be true.
 
– Everything is complex. That’s the simple fact.
 
– Mores ~ morality
Customary standards
 
– Becoming excellent, by pursuing perfection, without falling into despair.
 
– “There is a method in the madness. But there is also madness in the method.”
 
– “Change is not always in our control. But how we respond to it is.”
 
– “Nothing carries more clout than money.”
Hmmm…… Really??
 
 
25.7.16
 
– Our faith in the Fall seems to be greater than our faith in the Resurrection.
Hmmm…… Of course, which of these has more support from direct experience?
 
– Breath –> word –> creation ~ Spirit –> Son –> Father
 
– Death – is this body the person?? Can I touch him/her now?
 
– Aromatherapy
 
 
26.7.16
 
– Enjoying achievement
&
Achieving enjoyment
 
– In order to overcome depression, you need all 3 – understanding (past), mindfulness (present) & purpose (future).
 
– Health, fitness & beauty
 
– Like –> love –> worship
Dislike –> hate –> fight
 
– The givens – what happens when what is taken for granted, changes?
 
– Can I be kind to myself, and also push myself??
I find this (doing both together), impossible to do! 😓
 
– Spouse:
Pulling from above & pushing from below
Or
Pushing from above & pulling from below?
 
– Fame is so lame
 
– Is it right or good to compare an actor with his/her on-screen personae?
 
– The last judgment:
…… and the children shall arise, and condemn their parents, for failing to provide them with the vital resource of spiritual leadership!
 
– Legacy
Vs.
Memorial
 
– Experts, peers & clients
 
– Most people are such a waste of Breath……! 😟
 
– Autoerotism
 
– Total Body Fat
 
– Touching the bereaved,
Touching the dead,
Touching the coffin…
 
– Is treating two unequal parties as (if they were) equals, justice?
 
– Who are ‘your people’?
What is ‘your land’?
Which is ‘your creed’?
 
– “Do not stand idly by when your neighbor’s life is threatened. Do not nurse a grudge against any of your relatives. Confront people directly so you will not be held guilty for their sin. I am the Lord.”
Neighbors, relatives & friends
How many people around you, do you love on a regular basis?
How many people are an integral part of your life?
 
– “And God will not let you be tried beyond what you are able to bear, but with the trial will also provide a way out so that you may be able to endure it.”
(1 Corinthians 10:13 NET)
I don’t think I believe this…
 
– Propriety
&
Proprietary
Quality
&
Property
 
– What’s the difference between a mercenary & a spy?
 
– Benevolent rebuke
 
– Fellow citizen
My fellow citizen(s)
 
– Nourishing & retaining anger
 
 
27.7.16
 
– Each person is either great or small, depending on the context in which you place them.
E.g. A doctor outside the hospital
 
– Do this, “so that you may be children of your Father in heaven.”
What if I don’t……?
 
– Enemies – those whom we find impossible/difficult to love.
 
– Being better than most others, being different from the common crowd, IS the reward for being virtuous/noble!
 
– The amazing challenge of forgeing one’s identity apart from the usual bases of family, job, class, caste, creed, etc.
 
– Things so glorious that they far exceed even your capacity to desire or imagine!
 
– I love you ~ I wait for you
I love you ~ I delight to do good to you
 
– The GOD who intervenes for his people.
Hmmm…… Does he?? I haven’t seen.
So what does that mean?
OT to NT – from the GOD who dramatically acts in history, to the GOD who prepares an eternal destiny.
Isa. 64:4 –> 1Cor. 2:9
 
– ‘Son of’ ~ like
 
– Holy ~ blameless ~ perfect
 
– How many bad/evil/inhuman/demonic people have you met?
 
– I have never experienced the death of someone who was emotionally very close to me.
 
– Always back up your important data in 2 places – one cloud & one local.
 
 
28.7.16
 
– What shall we do in the next spiritual formation group meeting??
 
– Is it the adult children’s duty to take care of parents when they become old & dependent?
Can money compensate for personal assistance?
How can a couple, who have their own child, also provide (practical, moral & financial) support for their ageing parents?
Is it the parents’ duty to babysit their own child?
Can hired help or grandparents compensate for the personal care?
How can a couple, both of whom have jobs, provide adequate parental support to their infant/baby?
 
– What does breast-feeding have to do with the Fifth Commandment??
 
– How do family duties relate to spiritual values and social responsibilities?
 
– One day per week – Sabbath.
One day per week – overall structure of workday, but without the usual content.
Five days per week – routine duties
 
 
29.7.16
 
– The spiritual life is NOT about ‘overcoming’ or ‘conquering’ the Fall. It is about ‘surviving’ or ‘weathering’ it.
What is the difference?
 
– If you want to cope & thrive, first get out of this toxic (physical & social) environment.
EJECT, for life! Or stay, & die……
You have a choice about what you do (about your location), but you don’t have a choice about the situation & its consequences.
Period.
(If you think that you CAN grow, irrespective of all this ambient negativity, you are just another foolhardy coward.)
Mark my words, there comes a time when you must kick off the dust of this soil, in judgment against its pathetic & hopeless inhabitants (zombieland), or become one of them yourself.
 
– I don’t see anything noble or praiseworthy in those adults who sacrifice their individual & marital fulfillment for the sake of their elderly parents!
In fact, they are all fools & cowards in my eyes.
 
– I see religious faith (belief in GOD) as a double-edged sword, which can be as destructive as it can be positive…
 
– Sorry, I couldn’t care less about your wise advice!
So you can go shove it down your own gutter.
 
– Distinguish:
Gutter
&
Guttural
 
– Second Temple Period
 
– Winded ~ pursy
 
– Bacchanalia
 
– marque
 
– batiste
 
– Cremation ~ incineration
 
– I want my body (at death), to be given for organ donation, and the remaining to be cremated and dissolved in some nearby water body.
 
– conurbations
 
– columbaria
niche
urn
 
– Domestic politics
 
– The changing nature of life (faith, hope & love)
 
– Shifting identities
 
– Foundational moments
The perfect origin
Forging narratives in order to establish traditions
 
– Anachronistic faith
 
– Shaping authoritative figures
 
 
30.7.16
 
– quartered (adj.)
 
– Anti-depressant
To take or not to take……
Escitalopram!
 
– If I find this (relatively) relaxed routine so tough, then how will I cope with a more demanding lifestyle in the future?
 
– Professional control of death
 
– The criminalized poor
 
– medicalization
 
– I think the role of medication in the management of depression should not be seen negatively. It is an integral part of the holistic approach.
 
 
31.7.16
 
– What do you?
Nothing much.
What?!
I do some spiritual work.
Meaning??
I try to understand life, improve myself & help others grow.
Oh, I see……
 
 
8.8.16
 
– trundle
 
– Mahasweta Devi
 
– Anand Gandhi
 
– Namrata Joshi
 
– Virtual/augmented reality
 
– “The internal arts”
“The Spiritual Legacy of Shaolin Temple”
Martial culture
 
– Can peer-pressure be positive?
 
– When the Law is transferred from stone tablets to hearts of flesh, is it just simple transcription, or is there more translation going on?
I think more in favor of the latter.
 
– How difficult it is to help/serve people when the very nature, means & end of your work is despised by the society in which you live!
Man is always kept farthest from what is needed most……
We have blundered enough by making the stupid distinction between the important & the urgent. It’s time we made the important urgent. Let everything else wait!
 
 
– Will I ever be happy with myself??
I don’t know.
But I can continue working toward it, without worrying too much about achieving the goal as soon as possible…
 
– Distinguish:
Patience
&
Complacency
 
 
9.8.16
 
– ‘Sudden enlightenment’
Distinguish:
 
Immediate
&
Instant
 
– I refuse (your glorified brand of) voluntary servitude!
 
– I have only two options:
Social suicide
&
Spiritual suicide
The sooner I make my choice, the sooner I find peace!
 
– What is life, if not a constant struggle against death?!
 
 
10.8.16
 
– I need MORE madness, NOT less!
 
 
13.8.16
 
– anti-guru
 
– Radical institution
 
– Change preparation time for, seminar to 1 year, and for retreat, to 6 months.
So, every 3 years, there will be 2 seminars & 2 retreats, instead of 1 seminar & retreat every year.

JOTTINGS

13.7.16
– Is ripening just the early part of rotting?
– It seems like our faith in the Fall is greater than our faith in the Resurrection!  😕
Depression as cancer of the mind.
– Do I have what it takes to survive this life?
Do I have the motivation, knowledge & support to transform myself before it’s too late? And even if I don’t, do I have the choice of not trying?
– “Aceing life”
Rom. 5:17
– Mat. 9:5
Neither!
Nothing that is worthwhile, lasting or substantial is easy, simple or quick.
– How can I forgive myself, for squandering (so many years of) this life, when I am still living in sin?!
– Motivational rebuke
Inspirational scolding
Edifying polemic
– Today (each & every day):
Passivity/decay
Vs.
Activity/transformation
– The necessity of hibernation, for prosperity!
– Inertia
Vs.
Drive
What fuel does your engine use?
– I am NOT depressed today (fasting)!  😊
– “I think the bad news hit you especially hard, because you were physically more vulnerable – in absolute fasting for 3 days!”
– To EMFI:
“Many doctors (from junior interns to senior consultants) in the cities, working in the corporate hospitals (like Apollo), are under intense pressure to actively abet unethical (corrupt exploitative) & unscientific practices.
Are Christian doctors equipped to discern & resist such forces??”
– Why should I feel insecure or bored, when I am not involved in any service/ministry/employment??
I must overcome this deficiency in my selfhood.
Oh to be precious and unproductive…!
– Steadfast love ~ covenant faithfulness
– Wisdom/spirituality
Theoretically sound practice
&
Practically relevant theory
Both seasoned by long & hard-earned experience!
– The inner guru
He/she who rejects any external input can never be self-taught, only self-fucked!
– Habits, character & insight
Outlook –> conduct
– Spiritual –> moral –> intellectual
– Sustained, deliberate & guided self-cultivation
– Cordial dialog and animated debate
– Change yourself, in line with your nature!
– Give yourself at least one year to attain the target weight/ideal body.
Plan accordingly & execute.
Small steps everyday over a long period!
– Those who keep the world running, as it is
&
Those who challenge & change the world
These 2 are complementary & interdependent.
But I want to be (more of) the second.
– Listen to your feelings
AND
Stretch your body
Without doing BOTH, you’re not gonna be healthy.
– Climbing up & down the stairs, backward. Do it everyday. Add it to your routine exercise.
– Sing, dance or laugh at least once everyday.
Or else, your life will be short & sour!
– Gatling gun
– The sage as pupil and the pupil as sage
– Industriousness, skill and foresight
– Listen and love ~ worship & live ~ believe & work
14.7.16
– Half-alive
– Pronounce “Paris”
– Player
Hater
– What is ‘size zero’?
16.7.16
– My Christian background is not merely a chronological artifact, but a present/spiritual reality…!
18.7.16
– I like Miles Teller
– Stoner
Boner
Loner?
Goner?
– Latte
Espresso
Cappuccino
19.7.16
– diminutive
– Horny AND holy??
– Power user
– perp
– revamp
– Studying death makes me feel alive!
– How do you live in such a way that you (can/will) conquer death??
– Indulging the superego
– What’s the difference between Anthropology & Sociology?
– Familiarity breeds comfort
&
Distance makes the heart grow colder
– Natural history
Combination of specialties

Movies: “Dredd” (Hit!)

Ooomph! Sexy

I guess I need to take in a few misfits, as rookies! 😉

We desperately need a strong person on the right side, for a change…… Being good (in THIS world) is hard, hard work! NOT for the nice and naive.

Hey, this one was released in the cinemas as 3D?! I should’ve got that, instead of the TV movie channel.

Review

Trailer

Poster

 

NOTES

1.7.16

– cyclostyle

– Purity:

Ceremonial ~ spiritual!

– Stopped using keyboard aids – auto-complete, correction & prediction!

– Inward — outward — upward

– Focus ALL my study on stuff directly (or at least indirectly) related to spirituality.

– Intense, simple & complete

Keep it that way, always & forever!

– Eternity ~ abundance

– Mould ~ moult

June – retraining period

Recarnate!

– “Dey Kabaali…

Naan Joseph da!”

– Shift my center of gravity from head to heart.

Spiritual ~ contemplative ~ mystical ~ transformative ~ vital.

Make all study subservient to the art/science of living well.

– Everyday half hour meditation & half hour exercise.

This 1 hour (+ 1 hour solid study) becomes the temple/thin place out of which flows life – the wellspring or fountain of streams in the desert!

– Passive consistency

Vs.

Active change

Passive change

Vs.

Active consistency

– High intensity circuit training (HICT)

– Only fruits for dinner, except on Thursdays & Sundays (weekly 2 off-days)

Meat-eating only on off-days.

– Workout session – in first half of the day (before lunch)

Meditation session – second half

– Dinner – fruits, nuts, dates, corn, carrot, cucumber, etc.

– Soya milk on fasting days

– Do these things everyday for 1 month, then you will experience the change in your spiritual status…!

– Commiserate

– Pain, anguish & despair

– Buddhism – how can detachment & compassion go together?

– gamify

– life-tracker

2.7.16

– “New bodies”

Ah yes! Exactly what we need – sexual resurrection……

– Movies:

“Floating Weeds” (Japanese) – Hit

3.7.16

– “Idea: Each person/family can identify others in their inner circle, with whom they would do well to be in touch, forever. Then plan their respective futures in such a way that they are physically proximal (meeting every 2 weeks or so) to at least one other person/family in that inner circle…

The gathering with everyone else can be once in 2 years or so.”

“Maybe we can do something like that to make our futures converge!”

– “All I wanna do is trade this life for something new,
Holding on to what I haven’t got…!” – Linkin Park

“So close, no matter how far,
Couldn’t be much more from the heart.
Forever trusting who we are,
And nothing else matters!

Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don’t just say
And nothing else matters

Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
And nothing else matters

Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know

But I know” – Metallica

– catfish (v.)

fembot (n.)

4.7.16

– Equal parts:

Meditation, exercise, reflection & study

– The brutality of sentimentality!

– My BMI (body-mass index) is in the overweight category, and my WHR (waist-to-hip ratio) is in the obese category!

😓

How & when did this happen??

5.7.16

– Thank GOD, I don’t feel depressed when getting up in the mornings……!

– Kleptocracy

Putin’s Russia

– “Do you think that when a doctor (working in a corporate hospital) does numerous (obviously unnecessary) scans a day for a patient who is on ventilator & is going to die in few days, he/she is “just following orders”, and is totally innocent of the malpractice??

Don’t you think there is a difference between the technician & the medically trained specialist?

Wouldn’t continuing to work in such a system, actively abetting & directly contributing to such blatant abuse, cause the sure death of one’s conscience??

Can such gross systemic injustices be perpetrated without the cooperation of an army of people to execute them (knowingly & unknowingly)? Or is the culpability limited only to the policymakers at the top??” – X

“…so easy to question. So difficult to answer. is it right or wrong. Answer is simple wrong.  Can we and do u fight every wrong in the street in the society which u r a unwilling party or witness. Can we fight every politician who swallows resources meant for your current or ward or street. Can u or do u fight every crime u see in the road.
We can stay away from known criminal actions and fight which we can meaning fully fight
I want to run a low cost set up serving deserving poor. But I realize I do not have a market for same. People decide what system they want and the system determines what everyone should do. If u r not the controller of system, u have to be party to it.
People  who don’t want to get genuine service at concession in psg general wards come to the present famous hospital I train in and pay through the nose to get operated by trainees like me….
And my boss wants us to do all tests for everyone as he believes people come to him for the belief that nothing will be missed in this hospital. Not for the judicious use of wisdom to cut down the tests and minimize expenditure….” – Y
“Hey… I appreciate your willingness to at least wrestle with these issues! It’s so easy to just become numb
I don’t think one is responsible for practices in which they are not directly involved…” – X
“When people like u, who I still believe was one of the best brains of batch shy away from medicine to serve through other means, what will lesser mortals with lesser conviction like us practitioners do when people come to brands and brands employ us with opportunity to use and upgrade the hard earned skill
Now , I train at this age supporting a family in stipend to update my skills. Should I go to XYZ where my patients will not come in recognition of my skills and loose skills and take a less than deserving pay or take up a job with a better pay and chance to stay updated in this hospital when they offer me a job
Tell me, what’s  the way out” – Y
“It is sad that medical doctors become pawns of an unscrupulous system! I think you should choose places which are ethical & scientific when looking for a job.
Sometimes, we can have jobs which have good pay without compromising any of our moral values, but sometimes we must choose between the two!
I believe more people like you must get together with other like-minded colleagues & friends in medical practice, to come up with new options that are better than the existing opportunities. I still think the government setup doesn’t have many of the unethical practices of the corporate sector
As individuals, we might feel helpless against a huge nexus of criminal structures, but together with others in the same cause, we have a fighting chance! The primary challenge is never to give up one’s principles, no matter how costly…
“What does a man profit, if he gains the whole world, & loses his soul?”
When one person has decided that she will never participate in unjust practices (remember the Hippocrates Oath we all took?), then the fight to resist the corrupt forces can begin!
There are many hospitals in India which strive to be ethical & scientific. And people like you can even consider starting new hospitals based on sound values, along with NGOs, etc. Just sharing some ideas……
Doctors should start thinking, reading, praying & discussing with other doctors about these issues, instead of dumbly accepting the current scenario as fate
I hope people like Y will take up such crucial challenges to make a real difference for the future of this great profession, unlike others who can only see moving from speciality to super-speciality as “progress”…” – X
“I am proud to have worked at both junior level and senior level in a super speciality in a premier hospital of India for 7 years which unusually has best ethical practices in the world thanks to the HOD. I am talking about XYZ. HOD is Dr. ABC, one of the pioneers in DEF. It is just that government hospitals provide more opportunities to be ethical but the opportunities are not always utilised.
He himself used to say that if govt. Hospitals are good in a place, it can eat up all private hospitals as he was previously HOD of railways hospitals

I am seeing the truth here in GHI… More than 85% of health care is by government sector (Unusual in other parts of India).” – Z

“how about u starting an NGO to promote just medical practices.. u can work on the system if not in the system. Not a sarcasm, but an appeal” – Y

“Oh… Sorry, that’s not possible, because I have decided to concentrate on spirituality. My job is to inform & motivate others who are already in the field, to bring in the necessary changes…” – X

“So is that spirituality ? To inform and motivate others in their respective fields to bring necessary changes?” – A
“Hmmm… Yeah, my work is just like education – providing knowledge so that people can understand the truth, & act accordingly. But of course, it is not purely theoretical. We all have to work on ourselves first! Then we should know our place in the world… Our role/function within the big picture.
I guess all of us are involved in “loving” in so many different ways… But can one truly “love” without a strong spine to resist evil in our context??

GOD BLESS our entire batch, so that each of us will grow as individuals, and be a precious gift to our respective circles (in our own unique way)” – X

– Certain professions are more noble than others…?

Education, healthcare, etc. should not be given over to the corporates, to exploit for profit, without any strict institutional oversight, by an efficient governmental body or reliable NGO.

– Why is investing in the stock market or real estate or forex or commodities, unethical? Because any income generated without providing any goods or services in exchange, is undeserved & unjust.

– The root problem is not death, it is suffering.

And what I mean by suffering is not just pain, but any lack of the fullness that is possible in this life……

– Self-actualisation

Personal development

Life coaching

Spiritual mastery

– Reverse image search

– Om

https://thumbs.dreamstime.com/z/spiritual-om-sign-10641344.jpg

Yin Yang

https://thelazytaoist.files.wordpress.com/2015/07/yin-yang-symbol.jpg

http://nd06.jxs.cz/216/280/4172a9143d_103069977_o2.jpg

Peace

https://michellesantos.files.wordpress.com/2011/10/rainbowpeacesign11.jpg

– condiment

relish

canapé

– gorgon

6.7.16

– Creativity, connectivity and commitment

– What percentage of your day (waking hours) do you spend sitting?

The importance of (good) posture!

– Non-academic theologians

– The political significance of the contemplative life……

7.7.16

– Learning to live without a purpose!

Not just surviving, but flourishing – the continuous and present increase of LIFE itself as the goal…

– The choice between fulfilling social roles and being true to one’s essence.

The choice between an acceptable/respectable career and passionately pursuing self-perfection

The fundamental conflict/tension is not between good/life/spirit and evil/death/flesh, but between excellence/originality/passion & mediocrity/conformity/apathy!

Can one be both good and happy?

Can one be both great and healthy?

Can one be both focused and balanced?

8.7.16

– For matters of life, eclectic/liberal approach is good. But for ultimate issues (E.g. Death), Christianity is better.

But the secular folks & the Christians lose out on the other resource.

Only together can they be complete.

9.7.16

– Be here.

Go there.

– Spend more money, to earn more Payback points!  😉

– “Helping to found an experimental university”

WOW! 😇

– Capitalism, patriarchy & ……?

– Crude, vulgar, shameless, pristine

– oneiric

reverie

– Subversive excesses

– Sexual texts

– Theory, religion & mysticism

– Literary disgorging

– The morality of the unconscious

11.7.16

– Movies:

“Amy” (documentary) – Hit

Instead of asking what killed her & what could have been done differently/better… We should just say “Gloria!”

What a powerful voice & what a vulnerable soul!

Fatherless till the end!

Tragic success – celebrity as slavery. Fame – the crucifixion of the artist is implicit in their magnificent contribution to the world…

Natural genius (talent/skill) is doomed, without acquired greatness (character formation)!

The curse of genius – how could one have had the gift of such lyric & melody, without the inherent weakness & suffering?

The fatal flaw – when GOD gives something awesome, he also takes away something essential… You can either have a long & mediocre life, or a short & shining one. NEVER both.

Given her inherent flaws & the toxic relationships, it was a miracle that she even survived this long…

In the end, was it all worth it? Hmmm… Yes, I believe so!

– Naturalized hegemonies

Hierarchies of origin

Transcendent immanentisms

12.7.16

– Lowering the center of gravity, improves stability.

No longer top-heavy (head-weight).

“Inner engineering” – shifting focus from thinking to breathing. Moving from automatic to conscious.

– Mindful shopping

Contemplative baby-sitting

– It is (almost) impossible, not to misunderstand certain individuals (like me?).

– “I am not the mind.

I am not even the body!”

“Kriya”

“Prana”

“Isha”

– Daily seminar & retreat!

– “I pray that you stay stubborn & ferocious, annan! But also humble & compassionate…
That’s the challenge, isn’t it?
I believe it’s time you left the past behind (mentally), & focus fully on the present (spiritually), only then you can move into the future (physically). You MUST NEVER GIVE UP hope! Life is NOT over until it’s over…
You can do most of the things others do (as work) with just a fraction of your power. If you only exert it, you will realize, it’s still there! Believe that this is STILL possible, & you WILL see……
Let us not give death any power (over us), as long as we have Breath (in us)!
The Spirit MOVES……
“Stand up, take up your stretcher, walk, & go home.” – Mat. 9:1-8
All things are possible, to the one who acts in Faith!

The Future beckons. Don’t give up on GOD, when he has not given up on you. What’s the point in staying alive, if we’re not going to push the limits of possibility??”

– Neither cynical nor naïve

– “I love money (safety & comfort) more than sex (risk & pleasure).”

Prudish, cowardly & melancholic

– Moderation without mediocrity?

EXPERIENCE

17.6.16
– “Kabir: In many ways, the growth of societies rests with those who raise questions about the self, those who are not satisfied with the status quo, and those who are seekers in both the personal and political realms.”

I want to be a believing seeker, & a seeking believer.

I want to raise new questions for old answers, & discover new answers for old questions.

The political dimension of the innermost self!
18.6.16
– Canvass
– potlatch
– Subversive excess

Self-rupture
19.6.16
– Culture:

You adapt & survive

&

I rebel & suffer
– Fruit of the Spirit:

Hatred, sorrow, frustration, anger, toughness, frugality, stubbornness, flexibility, impulsiveness

Huh?!?

Yup.

Flipside!
20.6.16
– Foundations without buildings,

And buildings without foundations.
– Pure, raw, naked, wild
– Is evangelism relevant only for the monotheistic religions?
– hendiadys
– acceptance, forbearance & forgiveness
– Can one pursue excellence without becoming competitive?
– participle (English grammar)
– Third class condition (Greek grammar)
– Beloved = chosen to be holy!

Holy = chosen to be loved!

Chosen = love to be holy or being holy for love
– How can one be flexible and adjusting in relationships, and yet be spiritually authentic & ethically firm as an individual?
– Method theory
– Eroticism & sacrifice
– The tool & image industry
– Mechanical art
– The real Image & the imaginary Real
– (re)Production

&

(re)Presentation
– The American dream – the dream is (the vision/idea/image of) “America”  itself!
– For maximum comfort, the cool air from the AC should never fall on you directly!
– Virtual reality

&

Literal truth
– Tele-evangelism

Proliferate, disseminate & saturate!
Then what??
– simulacra
– Extreme phenomena
– Other-worldly things
– Surrealism

&

Hyperrealism
– Andy Warhol
– Beyond the postmodern, toward……??
– Lyrical commentary

Aphoristic autobiography
– Legal violence

Holy corruption
– Literary resurrection
– Apocalypse ~metamorphosis
21.6.16
– Life is too long, for nice words, cute people & sweet times to ever be enough!
– Distinguish:

War/violence

&

Terrorism/horror
– Movies:

“Jennifer’s Body” (Hit)

Just another girly teen flick?? Hmmm…… I don’t think so.

Megan Fox is so hot, and I’m not just talking about the image. Body > appearance!

All terror is “religious” in nature. (Bataille)

Do you have it in you, to kill/survive a demon? She should’ve killed herself long back (after the first murder itself). And Needy is no hero either.

Self > the beloved > the public
– When to use “&” and when to use “and”?
– Dignifying any & every kind of labor, and still maintaining that life is much (much!) greater than work.
– Your hugely mistaken!

But I could be wrong.
– Some heroes are (almost) universally acclaimed. But some are considered by others as villains!
– “Very truly, I tell you, you seek me, not because……, but because……”

Come, let me show you who/what you REALLY are!

In the divine-human relationship, we are bound to keep disappointing & frustrating each other. What an incompatible pair, what an everlasting bond!
– Is Jesus a male NOW?
– Intimate encounter with the Other strips the individual completely, & produces self-disgust!
– Neither recondite nor trite
– Non-specialist intellectual
– Iconic iconoclast
– flotation
– Preferment & ostracism
– Integrated Humanities

New Humanities
22.6.16
– Can a non-researcher be a good (graduate level) teacher?

Nope.
– “RESOLUTIONS (to convert my career into vocation):
1. I will NOT be overworked. Especially, I will not allow myself to be taken advantage of by any person/system to do things which are not relevant or worthy of my specific role as a professional.
2. I will NOT be underpaid.
3. I will NOT compromise on quality – BOTH in my character-work, & in the organization I choose to be a part of. There is ALWAYS scope for improvement (BOTH in me & the structures I am involved with)!
4. I will NOT go after money, comfort or status. I will take my social responsibility (especially to the marginalized) SERIOUSLY.
5. I will make a (short & long-term) PLAN to fulfill my (GOD-given) VISION to make a significant positive contribution to the future of my field.
– I will NEVER give up, & I will continue to work hard & smart, by GRACE through faith, to keep these resolutions!

AMEN.”
– Pleasure is NOT satisfaction. The pursuit of satisfaction is the root cause of all pain. Pleasure is the fine line where longing & fulfillment meet!
– Levels of reality:

1. Playing the maze app on a tablet.

2. Gaming with a metal ball in a plastic maze.

3. Walking through the maze myself!
– Yes, fight the good fight. But first, get well-equipped!
– Reverse brain-drain
– To be, or not to be…

A father.

Why not decide today itself?
– You call yourself a Christian, but you’re too comfortable with the status quo! This makes me doubt the authenticity of your religion…
– Distinguish:

Technician

&

Intellectual
– I don’t believe that marriage is an ontological/metaphysical reality, but sexuality is.
– One thing I know for sure, there is no place in this society for someone like me.

So, what do I do??

I must either fall in line, or I should leave & go it alone. There is no option of staying here & trying to be (true to) myself.
23.6.16
– Time to bail out of this sinking ship!

Ignite the engine……
24.6.16
– When intellectual creativity, social experimentation, private enterprise & critical artistry are encouraged, why should sensual entertainment alone be censored??

FUCK this draconian morality!

Sex ~ play (adults ONLY)

“Why so serious?! ” – The Joker

“Orgiastic pleasure has its place…” – Cornel West (philosopher-Christian & key contemporary public intellectual)
– Am I helping people make the most of their lives, BOTH in terms of personal enjoyment AND social responsibility?

Neither capitalism nor communism!

Enriching the lives of the haves AND the have-nots……
– “Homo” > “humus”
– When there are so many orphan babies (awaiting parents) in this world, why bring another/new (utterly dependent) soul into it??
– bastardisation
– I want you to agree with me, because I believe what I believe is true. But I also want you to think for yourself (about the truth)!
– Guidance + practice = skill

What about (natural) aptitude?

Potential + effort
– Cause celebre
25.6.16
– Miracles/healing:

1. Jesus’ & Apostles’ ministry – a sign/foretaste/proof of the coming/future/perfect/eternal Kingdom? NOT to be seen as a norm or model for all of Church history?

2. The rapid & steady decline of miracles in Church history, beginning with the immediate post-apostolic period. Is GOD moving to work through other means as his main strategy?

3. The cultural context & scientific progress – is this one reason why GOD has shifted gears? Is this the meaning of “you will do greater things than these”?

4. Spiritual gifts – Jesus & the Apostles were exceptional examples who embodied all the diverse gifts in themselves. But, even from the early church onwards, each member had their own unique gift, & making any gift as the universal norm for every person was prohibited. Miracle-working faith is only one among the many spiritual gifts.

5. Theologizing – theoretical wrestling as integral to faith – ridding religion of anti-intellectualism – distinguishing literalism & faithfulness.
29.6.16
– licit
– cuckold
– Indian – the racial-cultural identity is more important than the geo-political.
– A man/woman of wisdom is more powerful than any miracle-worker!
– Knowledge + virtue = wisdom
– Distinguish:

Messiah

&

Magician
– Life:

Experience & practice

Enjoy & understand

Desire & believe
– Resource person > Good communicator

The messenger IS the message!
– A different kind of contemplation, in & through activity!
– Spiritual Formation Group –> Mutual Sharing Group

Intellectual/systematic –> contemplative/spontaneous

All learning (second-hand) to be done as individuals. During meetings, only sharing (first-hand).

Bringing the spiritual depths out, instead of knowledge input.

Only this strategy can lead to genuine transformation!
– In-house language
– Early Christianities
– Learning to look afresh, as an outsider
– Movement –> community –> organization
– Distinguish:

Martyr

&

Confessor
– bumpkin

bunk
– cenobitic
– deconvert
– Conversion ~ colonization
– pro rata
– I think Jesus did rise from the dead (physical resurrection). But I don’t think the biblical writers or the later Evangelicals got the interpretation (significance) of that event quite right….
– Adultery without the infidelity!

Cheating website
Indians among top users of “Ashley Madison”

http://www.hindustantimes.com/tech/indians-among-top-users-of-infidelity-website-ashley-madison/story-Q1e6aVwUObBHRzsuoEcKKJ.html
– What do I do??

I am a student of spirituality.
30.6.16
– Authority (exousia) > Power (dunamis)!
– Freedom + togetherness = responsibility
– The prohibition against knowing, and therefore loving, oneself!
– If you have been a diligent & passionate student of any subject for at least 10 years, then you are qualified to be a teacher in that field.
– I need a revolution in my daily living. I need to die & rise again!
– I want the next 10-15 years of my life to be the best ever.

But do I have the necessary motivation & determination??
– Seminar preparation – 1 year

Retreat preparation – 6 months
– Acquired taste
– Inward work – the perfection of the self is the only source & basis of any (other) authentic accomplishment.
– I don’t want to be ashamed of dying as a mediocre man. But I fear that’s where I am headed, unless something drastic happens……
– Love ~ zest ~ faith ~ zeal ~ hope ~ desire ~ passion

What?

How?

Why?
– Immersing oneself wholly in something, can be a way to self-realization!
– Before this dust turns back to dust, raise it to the highest heaven in beauty & glory!
– Stretch it until it finally breaks, or, just shrink & die.

The only way to escape decay is suicide.
– Involution

Vs.

Evolution
– “I wanna perfect body,

I wanna perfect soul.

I want you to notice,

When I’m not around.

I wish I was special,

So fucking special!

But I’m a creep,

I’m a weirdo.

What the hell am I doin’ here?

I don’t belong here.” – Radiohead
– “There are no two words in the English language, more harmful, than ‘Good job!’.” – Whiplash (movie)
– “I’m gonna live while I’m alive,

Sleep when I’m dead.” – Bon Jovi
– Spirit ~ material mind ~ mental matter
– Relegating study!

What the fuck are ya gonna do then?
Hmmm…… I’m gonna mould my self into the perfect version of myself.
– impresario

REFLECTIONS

7.6.16
– Sexual liberation, as an integral part of social justice, is as important as any other element in the Kingdom of GOD!
Jesus himself was called a glutton & friend of prostitutes, so I don’t mind being called an idle flirt……
How can this issue be seen from the ethics (deontological, virtue, utilitarian & teleological) point of view?
– The priest as authentic (not necessarily authoritative) interpreter
8.6.16
– My movie ratings:
Flop – 0/5
Poor – 1/5
Okay – 2/5
Cool – 3/5
Hit – 4/5
Superhit – 5/5
– quaff
– bruderschaft
– caftan
– faiënce
– mauvaise honte
– sotto voce
– Remote soul
10.6.16
– Cassandra
– Heliotherapy ~ insolation
– Symposiarch ~ toastmaster
– Specie ~ coinage
– vaunt
– odalisque
– insuperable
– picaresque
11.6.16
– What am I doing??
Actually, nothing much!
But I am a self-employed, part-time, freelance spiritual worker.
What that means exactly, I myself don’t know……
I don’t have a job. But I have a main hobby.
– My mind is too bloated for my body!  ;-(
How can I regain health (strength, balance & focus)?
Maybe, instead of constantly feeding my higher senses & occasionally giving a break, I should invert the proportion.
– Vacation is the time when you don’t have the usual occupation(s) to shield you from boredom. Time to go mining, Joe! Who knows what gems await you in that cold, hard, dark place……?
No elevation, without excavation.
Vacation is not the time to just relax & recharge, so that you can continue (work) from where you left off. It is an opportunity (& challenge) to allow something genuinely new to occur in your mundane existence!
– FUCK entertainment.
HELLO enlightenment.
– NO MORE counseling! Stop it completely.
I am NOT a psychologist or pastor.
What was I (unthinkingly) believing, all those years……??
– I am not a scholar,
I am not a mystic,
I am not an activist,
I am not a servant,
I am not a leader,
I am not a member,
I am a SAGE!  🙂
– Curiosity, curiosity, curiosity!!!
– 1. Contemplative lifestyle & carefree attitude
2. Critical awareness & serious disposition
These 2 are in a complementary dialectic!
(But the 1st is first & the 2nd is second)
GOD, don’t let me be torn apart & driven insane, nor let me settle comfortably & rot away at one pole……
12.6.16
– GOD ~ life ~ reality ~ truth ~ power ~ spirit ~ joy ~ energy ~ universe
– Spirituality is realizing the primacy of the biological-material over the psychological-cultural!
But what about the sayingsaying, “mind over matter”?
Actually, what that means is, put the physiological body over the socially conditioned organism, using your enlightened will!
– Jesus:
Suffered & killed,
Risen & ascended,
Reigning & coming!
– Knowledgeable wisdom
Sagacious informance
– Contemplation (spiritual living):
Living in the moment,
Being in touch with, & acting out of, the body,
Remaining open to the immediate context.
13.6.16
– Idyl
– Distinguish:
Terrorism
&
Hate crime
– Action-learning
– They say that miracles are (the chief signs of) power.
I say, knowledge/wisdom is greater power!
– Health education and promotion
14.6.16
– pariah
– What’s the difference between a traitor and a whistle-blower?
15.6.16
– Amadora
Gourmet, sorbet
– alum
– Mata Hari
– “A little philosophy inclineth man’s mind to atheism, but depth in philosophy bringeth men’s minds about to religion.” – Francis Bacon
But even before ‘a little philosophy’ is the first stage of primal faith!
16.6.16
– Social/world transformation – the necessity of a 3-tier process:
1. Individual consciousness – enlightenment
2. Leadership development – social responsibility
3. Structural reformation – systemic overhaul
The glue that binds all these 3 together is spiritual community!
– Relax & enjoy
Balance & focus
Margin & rigor
– Distinguish:
Indulgence-dissipation
&
Enjoyment-prosperity
– Change vacation from 1 month at a stretch every year, to 2 weeks twice a year.
– The saint is not always a sage,
And the sage is not always a saint.

WANDERINGS

27.5.16
– Distinguish:
Leisure
&
Entertainment
– Skills – develop the capacity to smartly design your routine, stick to it diligently, and to live out of your inner voice when having an unstructured day.
– The daunting challenge of protecting your freedom and also being considerate of those related to you…
– Safe, healthy and happy
Rich, strong and excited
28.5.16
– fjord
– The discipline of spontaneity & indulgence!
C’mon Joe, you CAN let go……
– Anatomy of a scene
Every frame a painting
– Heartbreaking beauty
– Apple Music for Android
WOW!  😃
–  “…the darkest hour never comes in the night.
You can sleep with a gun.
When you gonna wake up and fight… for yourself?”
30.5.16
– Distinguish:
Acceptance
&
Indifference
– Contemplation (being), work (doing) & entertainment (feeling)
Everyday must have these 3 elements.
And every 3 days, one of them (in their turn)  must be the emphasis.
– Pray
Prey
– Force-feed
– Graze ~ nosh
– Movies:
“Tanu Weds Manu” (Hindi) – flop!
What a waste of (my precious) time…  ;-[
Both the lead actors are eye-candy, but the movie sucks.
The background music was wow (with subtitles too)!
The taming of a wild horse – tragic success??
– “Hmmm… I don’t think nation (as a geographical/political entity) is that important when it comes to ethics. But I do think that what (cause/goal) we work for matters irrespective of where we live. Most people in India are no better than NRIs when it comes to social responsibility or citizenship roles. For me, the kind of work & institution matters more than the physical location. But having said that, most people emigrate primarily/purely for material/financial reasons. Although it is possible for some to emigrate for better reasons. So, I agree fully neither with x or y.
Y doesn’t make a strong distinction with regard to the nature of employment when it comes to Kingdom-seeking
The important questions are not just about what I want to have/possess or do/achieve, but more significantly, who do I want to become and what legacy do I want to leave??
Where I live, & who I am with, are less crucial questions when compared to the above issues
The Kingdom is trans-national, but not trans-corporate!
Another very interesting insight/lesson from reflecting on this discussion is:
Sometimes team-work can compensate for, & redeem, individual choices & roles for the overall purpose of GOD.
E.g. One of the spouses having a job that is not directly/explicitly contributing to Kingdom agenda in the present, but provides the necessary backing/support for the other to pursue his/her Calling……
Therefore, there is no simple rule to follow, but we need to wrestle with complex challenges, keeping certain guiding values in mind…”
31.5.16
– If entertainment can become boring,
Can boredom also become entertaining?
– Online trading – stocks, forex, gold, etc.
– Membership plans for annual holiday packages
– Investing – slow & steady, eyes wide open, diversify
– Vacations are for those who have full-time jobs, not for people like me!
– Balance the extremes with some moderation.
– Contemplate ~ strip!
1.6.16
– Anti-depressant – to take, or not to take.
Vacations fuck me up!
I have no clue what Sabbath is!
– I am sick & tired of trying to do nothing, & move “from doing to being”
I think the only way to make that move is by stopping what I usually do, & start doing different things……!
– From contemplation to contemplative!
Activity –> attitude
2.6.16
– You need to get MORE, not less busy (or should I say, active), fucker!
– Do you know how “Edinburgh” is pronounced?
– “Dear family…
During this month (June – SFG vacation), I will be having a different routine from the usual.
No fasting on Wednesdays.
No fruits only for alternate dinner.
No regular family prayer.
PEACE”
– If you want to live like a monk, with most of your time spent on contemplation/meditation, then you will have to leave your current setting (family/city life).
– Vacation plan:
An overall framework of minimal daily rituals.
Some entertainment everyday.
Chores – lesser than usual.
Ministry – no formal programs.
Study – no usual reading of Scripture, theology, etc. (use audio/video resources). No retreat/seminar/SFG meeting preparation.
Contemplative rhythm
– Full freak out – not more than one day at a time!
3.6.16
– “It seems like the Kingdom works like this:
1. We enter it with all the wrong expectations.
2. Then we realize the true picture, & try to backtrack, but it’s too late.
3. So, we go all out & risk everything for it.
4. But GOD fails us, & we get fucked.
5. Once everything hits rock bottom……….
RESURRECTION (vindication)!”
I always like to say, “No guarantees…
Except resurrection!”
Maybe the whole thing is a cycle.
6.6.15
– What the resurrection of Jesus shows us is not the promise of life-after-death, but the possibility of life-before-death!
The power of death to loom large & dark enough, over the human condition, to destroy any faith, hope or love, is destroyed once & for all.
– Movies:
“X-men: Apocalypse” (okay)
Hmmm… Should I stop watching these mega-movies permanently? They seem to have less entertainment or enlightenment value than as an opportunity to criticize/diagnose contemporary culture.
Compare Apocalypse with: Noah (biblical story & movie), Prometheus, Batman Begins (Ra’s Al Ghul), etc.
What exactly is Jean Grey’s power??
What does it mean for a leader to be as mature (wise & strong) as Charles Xavier, in my context? Can I become more like him? How?
– Cinematic universe
– Even the most delicious food will become poisonous when it is force-fed!
Take pleasure when & as it comes, don’t program it…
Acknowledge your baser instincts & give them space to breathe, but do not intentionally cultivate lust.
One day a week is enough for structured/scheduled/intense entertainment.