Category: Journal

15.11.15
– Should I try to speed up my gadgets, get faster ones, or just learn to be more patient?
– My confusion & frustration comes out clearly in the way I play TT!  :-[
– “Let them grow together until the harvest time.”

What meanings can you draw from this passage if you read it with a psychoanalytic lens or a leadership lens or a cultural lens?

Can you identify the unconscious in this parable?

16.11.15
– Bentley Hart is better at dealing with the New Atheists than Peter Rollins.
– Movies:

“Aayudha Ezhuthu” (Tamil – hit)

I have elements of Inba, Michael & Arjun in me!

Someone like Inba could never make a living like other normal people, so his (& her!) end is realistic.

Was the ending of the film too optimistic??
– How is Rollins’ “Idolatry of God” similar to, or different from, the basic Buddhist premise of Nirvana?

18.11.15
– Each person’s death should be a cause for celebration to those who are left behind:

1. Organ donation

2. Give away at least half of your wealth to charity.

3. Cremation – no usage of real estate or money for burial.

Write your will today, & assure a glorious end with your loved ones.
– There are 2 kinds of future:

What will be (probability – passive – fate – extrapolation of the same old past – if we do nothing to bring change)

&

What can be (possibility – active – hope – the breaking in of something new – if GOD works in & through us)
– Dream:

A spider comes crawling out of the mat. But as it slowly comes out, I realize that it is actually a giant, monstrous spider with huge tentacles!

(Compare with movie “Enemy”!? How best can you label the expression on the hero’s face in the last scene?? In my dream, it was horror. But I don’t think it’s the same as the movie…

The unconscious, sexuality, ideology, etc.)

19.11.15
– Kingdom/Calling/mission > Work/career/ministry
– Love > acceptance

GOD unconditionally loves (not only accepts) us!

Affirmation from without –> evaluation from within…

NOT the other way around.
– Movies:

“A Clockwork Orange”

Why this title? What is the novel (by Anthony Burgess) all about?

If human nature can be changed only from within (spiritually), then is there nothing we can do about it??

How can we be repaired without being damaged by the very same attempt?!

What can the Christian Gospel do about this conundrum?

Getting to know the book on which a film is based is as important as having an elemental knowledge of the Bible in its original languages!

What is common to religion and the state, in their approach to reforming people? Fear & control!

20.11.15
– “You were young and your heart was an open book,

You could say live & let live…

But in this ever-changing world in which we live in,

Makes you give in & cry,

Live & let die!”

– Guns N Roses

Is it possible to stay human & still survive in this world?? Just look at the Cross!
– Don’t use USB hub for charging your mobile devices. Use only a power adapter or charger.
– We are willing to be patient with mechanical instruments, but why not with the digital?
– Aayudha Ezhuthu – Inba, Michael & Arjun – all 3 are in me, yes. But in what order, & how do they relate to each other?
– 3 elements of Christian life:

1. The sheer grace of GOD

2. Our faithfulness 

3. Miraculous works

In your faith, how do these three line up?
– Study Bible:

1. General articles

2. Intro. to each section/book

3. Translation notes & passage commentary

How do you map these 3 onto your spirituality as a whole?
– What do you call small people who are living large, & great persons who are living small?

21.11.15
– In “Jimmy’s Hall” (movie), where are we (the contemporary church)? 

Look at the last scene with the kids cycling & screaming behind the escort…!

22.11.15
– Choices:

1. Live & work in a tier 2 city, that is close to a metro, but not as overloaded. Visit the metro once in a few months for certain important cultural & educational events. 

2. Avoid the daily commute by living very close to your workplace. You can visit your family home during weekends. 

3. Allot a particular place in your house for a specific purpose – study, prayer, sleep, entertainment, socializing, etc.

5.11.15
– How does one (appreciate &) criticize Critical Theory?
– Micro- & macro-cosmos

Compare the different dimensions/dynamics in the individual self (body, mind, spirit, etc.) & those of the society (ecology, culture, communities, etc.)
– NOW is the nick of time!
– Forgiveness of sins (NOT counting people’s sins against them) –> a fresh start/a new beginning!

How do you do this without excusing or overlooking?

Once you own up to your sin (confess), you must completely disassociate yourself from it (forsake)! Otherwise, you will be receiving Grace in vain…
– Enemy (movie)

“Doppelganger”

“Alter-ego”
– Is mortality a curse or a blessing?
– No skepticism, no enlightenment!

No curiosity, no creativity.

No reflectivity, no responsibility.
– “Human ecology”
– Can one be an all-rounder without also being a specialist?
– Curiosity/creativity/collaboration

Vs.

Cowardice/lethargy/isolation
– “The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left.” – Jerry Wright
– Am I a student or a teacher?

Am I living to develop myself or help others?

Am I spontaneous or disciplined?

I refuse to choose!
– The girl-child and the adult-male.

We live in a world in which only one of these can survive!

Which of these two is dominant in me?

How can we grow up without becoming hard?

How can we stay innocent without becoming stupid?

I don’t know!  :-[
– I cannot empathize with you now, because I am not in touch with that part of myself which you are expressing!
– Sexuality:

I can understand incontinence, but words like immorality, infidelity & perversion don’t make any sense to me!
– How can you be faithful to another, when you don’t even know what it means to be true to yourself?!
– Depression, divorce, ostracism, disbelief, bankruptcy, etc.

Do you know that the ice underneath your feet is wafer-thin?!
– If you had to choose between stability and variety, which one would you go with?

Definitely security in the major things, and adventure only in the small stuff!

Yes, I am actually a coward (although I like to look like an explorer). Maybe I need to be forced to move out of my comfort zone, otherwise nothing’s really gonna change……
– solvency
6.11.15
– 4 perspectives:

1. Objectivism

2. Interpretivism

3. Scepticism

4. Defamiliarization
– Theory, research & practice –> experience, theory & research –> ……
– It is easy to play only defence or only offence, it is more difficult to adapt your game according to each point!
– metadiscourse
– Distinguish:

Ghazals

&

Bhajans
7.11.15
– I long to feel the freedom that comes only from losing control!
– Rock stars – how do these guys manage to make & release so many high quality albums, while also living crazy (drugs, sex, wealth, fame, travel, etc.)?!

Is their creativity in spite of these things or does it actually flow out of such recklessness??

Does being an artist mean to live in a state of perpetual crisis?
– Whenever I attend one of these concerts, I (am forced to) ask myself, “What is MY field of passion & expertise?”
– I don’t want my theology/spirituality/life to be a ‘one-trick poney’ (i.e. reactionary – obsessed with only one or two problems)!
– “Religion is the entering into the action of GOD in & through the making of our own souls, & of one another’s.”

Apart from our conscious & voluntary cooperation with Grace (both individual & corporate), there is no religion, or spirituality for that matter!
– Imagining a material eternity!

Familiar, but altogether new……
– Spirituality – denotes a process of transformation, but in a context separate from organized religious institutions, termed “spiritual but not religious”. Modern spirituality is a blend of humanistic psychology, mystical and esoteric traditions and eastern religions.
– Hasidism (contra the academicism of rabbinical Judaism) – strict ritualism, pietistic, fundamentalist, contemplation.

Kabbala (tradition of mystical interpretation of Hebrew Bible), asceticism, mysticism, perfection.
9.11.15
– No reverence, no humility
– Marriage ~ mortgage
– hobo
– How much of tension & hurt can you take in a relationship, before you say enough is enough?

How much of indifference & injustice can you experience in the world, before you become a zombie?
– Superhuman ~ inhuman

Hero ~ monster
– What were the earliest (childhood) lessons you learnt about life (what it is really like & how to survive it)??

You never forget (or get over) those!
– Don’t exaggerate your own pain & minimize that of others.

Avoid the opposite as well.
– How do you serve the people you are called to lead, when they reject your fitness for leadership?

A leader is NOT one who leads, she is one who understands what it is to be a leader (unlike those others who are not leaders), & is ready to pay the price for it!

She does not possess the capacity or ability to carry this cross, she is only willing to die trying……
– Distinguish:

Leader

&

Influencer
– Binge-watching

Ascetic indulgence
– Forgiveness is NOT just about excusing mistakes. It is an attitude that fully embraces pain & disappointment as integral to our humanity!
– Imagine Christ, running his fingers through the hair of his beloved disciples, as they stab him & twist the knife (because they just can’t help it), then placing his hand on their shoulder, & calmly telling them “It’s okay… It’s okay!” (because He alone can).

So, am I a Christian or not??
– Divinity is nothing but perfect & complete humanity!

It is being strong enough to become absolutely weak (omnipotence), it is being bold enough to lose all hope (glory), it is about continuing to live when it would be so much easier to just give up & die (immortality)……
– Which is more painful – disappointment or despair?

The former, of course. But the latter is more deadly!
– Salvation is seeking happiness, irrespective of the impossibility of finding it.

It is faith in miracle, while fully aware of our godless condition!

It is neither optimism nor skepticism.
– Okay, so let’s say you run away from this terrible situation, & find a better place in which to live.

Then what?

Does that really change anything!?
– The (primary) challenge is NOT to make the world a better place, so that it is a little easier for us to be human (as opposed to brutal or mechanical), the challenge is to become mature enough to stay human in an increasingly inhuman world, so that this soul-work you will lead toward the creation of a better future, when spirituality is no longer just a romantic notion!
– It is requires intense passion to leave this all behind, & step into freedom, & a new/uncertain future.

But it takes great maturity to stay, and (gradually) become fully free… creating something new out of the old (without getting rid of it)!
– Chrome (browser) is fit only for PC, not tablet or mobile.
– BFF – best friends forever
– Can our passion for love & justice be sustained without the (energizing) adoration of the gracious & faithful GOD?
11.11.15
– Serial:

Mad Men (Season 1)

What makes Dick Whitman a coward & Siddhartha Gauthama a hero? It is the difference between escape & pursuit!

Am I lost too??

Distinguish:

Core identity

&

Role play
– Movies:

Godfather 3 (hit!)

WOW! What a movie…

It punches you in the face & pulls at your heartstrings.
– Firmware
– Character/spirit/quality
– Compare:

Dick Whitman

&

Michael Corleone

&

Immanuel Joseph
– Dick Whitman –> Don Draper (Mad Men)

Vs.

Anderson –> Neo (Matrix)
– Leadership – vision-casting, team-building & problem-solving (in that order)
– Relationships:

For me, it’s not “absence makes the heart grow fonder”, it is “out of sight, out of mind”!
– Attend Global Leadership Summit every year!?
– 3 reasons for unfruitfulness:

1. Intellectual – lack of understanding

2. Emotional – lack of toughness

3. Will – unable to resist social pressures
– Negative emotions as golden opportunities for cultivating positive character qualities!
– A nonviolent revolution is an oxymoron!

All mystics are (implicitly) revolutionaries,

And all revolutionaries are (implicitly) mystics.
– Energy > action!
12.11.15
– Google this:

Deconstructing leadership

Aha!
13.11.15
– “I would rather fail at this than succeed at anything else!”
– If I said that open marriage is the solution to sexual infidelity, would that be like saying war is the solution to famine?
– Periodic (not just occasional) disorientation/deconstruction/defamiliarization.

I think I have finally arrived at the perfect rhythm/routine (for now ;-):

Alternate day structured, & alternate day spontaneous. But all days (including Sabbath!) must have an underlying contemplative base. So there is no hectic working nor frantic indulgence.

Trinitarian model – I think the nature of ultimate/essential reality is the dualism/dichotomy/dialectic that occurs within the common underlying matrix of a third universal. And this relationality is mediated by a fourth element. This maintains the vital tension, without tearing the whole system apart!

E.g. The dialogue between the Father & the Son, within the matrix of one GOD, mediated by the Holy Spirit.

Man & woman – in human – through love

Doing what I ought/should (stretch/push yourself) & doing what I feel/want (relax/express yourself) – in being – through mind

The difference between structured & spontaneous within the matrix of contemplation, mediated by ______

So, in my rule, what is the fourth element…

Critical reflection?
– Leadership is empowering only in so far as the leader is also disempowered (wider distribution of power)!
– Study as entertainment, & gaming as work!
– metatheory
– sui juris
– Emancipation ~ enfranchisement
– Postmodern foundationalism!
– “Desiring God” (Piper)

Vs.

“Idolatry of God” (Rollins)

Umph!
– What would a conversation between Peter Rollins & Simon Western be like?

I would love to be a part of that!  🙂
– LORD, have mercy on Chennai!
– Self-leadership – is this just a sophisticated cover for plain pride?
– Leadership – excellence in service is NOT always a result of being other-centred!
14.11.15
– Deep cuts
– “To act in ignorance is not to act in faith. Acting against understanding is required.

The realm of faith is thus not an asylum for the feeble-minded.”

– Soren Kierkegaard

Dear Freud, now you realize that faith is not a psychological crutch, but spiritual dynamite! It is more about doing than about feeling.

But unfortunately, most Christians have misrepresented this great faith……
– miseducation
– Experimental logic
– GOD believes in marriage!
– “Washed in his blood” ~ “Lost in his love” ~ “Blended with his life” ~ “Become one flesh with him”
– “The two shall be one flesh” – does this refer only to the sexual act?