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“Freedom from the Villain Within” by Rosemary Kurien (Transactional Analysis) 

​– Putting ourselves down

Rewriting our inner scripts & openness to change limiting habits

Villain – bad or overly good behavior – hurting others or oneself.

Self-chosen life plan – coping strategies to protect myself from threatening circumstances early in life – no longer relevant in adulthood – become a liability.

To become winners – enjoying life in the here & now – no past baggage – open mind

Capacity for openness – facade – insecurities & vulnerabilities – blinded by my own masks from reality!

Seeing our ‘weaknesses’ as unique assets.

Drivers – self-made walls become a prison.

Cutting my deep/whole self from ourselves.

Social Media & the compulsion to look okay.

“I am not as good as them”

Position of conditioned okayness

Taibi Kahler – 5 drivers

1. Be perfect – can’t learn by trial & error – accurate & reliable – very high standards – What if I lose control?

2. Be strong – self-sufficient – calm under pressure – not affected by others’ opinions – emotionally detached – what if I have to express my feelings & be rejected?

3. Try hard – creative – multifaceted – enthusiastic – too many projects – what if I fail/succeed?

4. Please others – team member – intuition (mind-reading) – can’t say No – what if nobody likes me?

5. Hurry up – works quick – procrastinates – what if life passes me by? (time’s running out)

Driver –> compulsion – I should/must (energy-draining –> stress) – vicious cycle

Anger, sadness & blame

Main & subordinate drivers

Be perfect > be strong > try hard > hurry up > please others

Limiting beliefs – not allowing us to realize our full capacity

Identifying & stepping out of our driver behaviors

Body language. Avoid quick labeling.

7 Process scripts

1. Be perfect – until – purposeful – task-oriented – not able to enjoy the moment – finish work & then have fun.

2. Pleasing others – after – rescues people whether they need his help or not – fear of ignorance/criticism – if I have fun today, I will pay for it later – what if?

3. Be strong – never – appears cold – lonely – will I be unmasked? I never get what I want most.

4. Try hard – why does it always happen to me? – blame others – victim mentality

5. Almost 1 – please others/try hard – hard-working, pleasant – almost there but not yet

6. Almost 2 – be perfect + please others

7. Open-ended – blank future – stranded – extreme form of Almost 2.

One positive stroke changes the mood!

Not-okayness

Worthiness –> growth & change! From self-castigation to self-challenge…

Strategies to ‘step out’ of one’s process script. Our drivers are actually our strengths (blessings in disguise), but they become negative when they are compulsive & restricting.

https://www.slideshare.net/mobile/manumjoy/breaking-out-of-process-script-patterns-transactional-analysis

Autonomy ~ winning

Transactional Analysis

a system of popular psychology based on the idea that one’s behaviour and social relationships reflect an interchange between parental (critical and nurturing), adult (rational), and childlike (intuitive and dependent) aspects of personality established early in life.

HAPPENINGS

7.9.16
– The Trinity – biological reproduction/social unit (Father, mother & child – family/marriage) is subordinate to spiritual regeneration (Father, Son & Holy Spirit – church/kingdom)!
– Why have a Paralympics??
– Canonical criticism
– Structure/frame/context as a clue to interpretation of the content
– Doxology & benediction
Praise (to GOD) ~ blessing (for us)!
– How can, and why do, people undergoing intense trauma, write poetry?!
– Blessed – holy, healthy & therefore (truly) happy!
– The Gospels as the Church’s/Christian’s Torah.
– Read, revere, meditate, recite, believe and enact
– Narrative liturgy and liturgical narrative
Myth & metanarrative
Comprehensively shaping a particular way of being together in the world.
– Theology (thinking, speaking, reading and writing about GOD) must always be accompanied, & nurtured by, prayer (hearing from, talking to, & living with GOD)
– Passive-aggressive
– The Messiah had to be a divine figure, because no mere human could perfectly represent GOD!
– Archetype/ideals:
Abrahamic
Mosaic
Davidic
Messianic!
– Conventional power
Vs.
Divine appointment
– In what way are authentic morality and true faith related?
– What is the use or point of sensation, without perception??
– The messianic function of the psalmist!
– Tone-deafness
– Should I consider starting (alternate) Sunday morning church services?!
– Nourished by the execution and fulfillment of the divine purpose!
– Word + Body + World = Spirit!
– Food, shelter, sleep & sex
– The Bible as scripture, literature, canon & sacrament
– B. Ed. is necessary for teaching in school, but not for college professors. Why??
10.9.16
– Is seeing God as a ‘person’ with whom we have a ‘relationship’ just another anthropomorphism?
– If a Gentile convert to Jesus did not have to embrace Judaism, then what about a contemporary Indian convert to Christ? Does he have to embrace Christianity?
Distinguish:
Jew,
Judeo-Christian &
Christian
– Who I am,
Who I want to be &
Who I am required to be
– There are certain things that you should never do/choose/change purely for the sake of someone else, with no intrinsic motivation.
E.g. Marriage, career options, religious affiliation, ethical values, parenting, etc.
12.9.16
– Professionalism is (integral to) ethics.
– “The world tried to make her an outcast, but she cast out the world instead!” – about Rekha (actress)
13.9.16
– hoary
– In the past, people found it natural to relax & had to be motivated to work. Now, it’s exactly the opposite!
I must swim against this tide, even if it drowns (& kills) me……
– Is life the ultimate value?
What could be more precious than life?
SOUL!
– The wisdom of unknowing
Distinguish:
Mysticism
&
Agnosticism
Lamentation
Vs.
Skepticism
– Ritualistic animal sacrifice & meat-eating
– Since I am sober & intellectual, I am attracted to people who are bubbly & passionate, but without being (too) shallow & sentimental.
– I want to be the text I read everyday!
Who is the author??
Why is it always easier to read (other) books?
I need to develop a method of self-talk/inner dialogue.
– Maybe I should try the first half of the day for things-to-do & the second half for contemplation, instead of alternate day for each activity.
Hmmm… Balance –> harmony –> integration!
– What do you think about these people who have these high-flying corporate jobs, & are also passionate about crazy hobbies?
Where is the question of the real you, if the ‘self’ is an illusion (or concoction)?
Are they hypocrites or cowards or……?
Hmmm… What is wrong with wanting it all? Isn’t there always a sacrifice involved in any choice?
What if they are also involved in some philanthropy?
In this world, can one do the right thing & get away with it? Is that why we need Heaven?
– excogitate

STUFF

31.8.16
– Verb ~ verbal
Word as action!
– Chronic fatigue syndrome
I hate the exhaustion that results from busyness & depression.
Even physical sickness (to some extent) is not that bad!
– Preparing ~ praying!
– Seminal energy
Waste not!
– I think, those who (can) criticize the Bible, honor its GOD more/better than those who (only) revere it!
– Pleasure as a genuine value
– Spirituality ~ good life ~ well-being ~ true beauty
– “Hevel” (Heb.)
– The main function of the Messiah is to transform Israel (arrogance-idolatry & greed-violence) into an obedient and faithful community. This is how he saves the entire world!
– Destructive distillation ~ radical/transformative purification (not just cleansing)!
– History/word & God/spirit
– Justice + mercy = peace!
– The Messiah both replaces the disqualified Israel and renews/redeems it!
– Remnant ~ seed
– Suffering Servant –> family of all nations –> renewed creation!
– Grace –> judgment and hope!
– Priests, scribes & kings (various forms of institutional authority) as false prophets (God-competitors & -substitutes)
– Distinguish:
Great
&
Big
– Child sacrifice ~ parents forcing children into the MNCs (archetypal Babel/Babylon), as highly paid slaves (contemporary equivalent)!
– In order to punish you, GOD will destroy his own temple!
– Prophecy/wisdom/prayer ~ poetry!
– Warning –> siege –> lament
– Protest – the wisdom of grief, shame and anger!
– Structure as message – literature, biology, architecture, etc.
– The shouts of people to GOD become the word of GOD to others!
– Preserving and sustaining dignity in suffering – resisting dehumanization in the midst of evil…
– Language as the great comforter – articulation/expression for healing & hope
– Ignore ~ abandon ~ reject
– Professional mourners
WOW!
– Gospel > soul-salvation
Kingdom > Heaven
Discipleship > daily devotions
Mission > evangelism
– “We have to be candles,
burning between
hope and despair,
faith and doubt,
life and death,
all the opposites.
That is the disquieting place
where people must always find us.
And if our life means anything,
if what we are goes beyond the monastery walls and
does some good,
it is that somehow,
by being here,
at peace,
we help the world cope
with what it cannot understand.”
William Brodrick
– “Dissenting Diagnosis: Voices of Conscience from the Medical Profession”
Doctors publish book on corruption in Indian healthcare!
Corruption: medicine’s dirty open secret
Doctors pen a book to expose medical malpractices in India
Doctor No
1.9.16
– eo ipso
qua
– Conceptual binaries
The metaphoric & the metonymic
The semantic & the syntactic
The semiotic & the symbolic
The real & the imaginary
Signifyingness & systems of signification
Being & name
The mirror stage
Presubject
Semanalysis
Integration & transformation
Transferential love
Dia-logue
Illeity & ipseity
Subjects-in-process & subjects-in-relation
Inscription
The transcendental body
The leisurely community
Metalepsis
inveigh
casuistry
turpitude
– Black sun
– The Cross (crucified Christ) as the rupture of logocentrism!
– insolent
– Intertextuality –> Intratextuality ———……>>> supratextuality!
– Communion
Vs.
Communication
– Distinguish:
Solipsism
&
Narcissism
2.9.16
– Double-helix theology
3.9.16
– Udupi
– Theology & Big Data
Spirituality & the market
The church & politics
– Piracy & privacy
– Doing > saying
Believing > confessing
Heart > thinking
Doing the right thing compensates for saying the wrong thing, but saying the right thing does NOT compensate for doing the wrong thing!
Don’t be deceived (as to who you really are), by your own words & feelings……
Faith is not a work. But there can be no faith where there are no works, just as there can be no fire where there is no smoke.
Compare Mat. 7: 21-23 with Mat. 21: 28-32 – salvific heresy & damned orthodoxy!
Evildoers ~ lawbreakers
So, is ethics more important than theology?
What then is true spirituality?
– Visionary exegesis
Narrative & personhood
Reception, appropriation & performance
Revelation & mediation
Catalepsis ~ mystical intuition
Textual sublime
The irrational & ecstatic
The technological colonization of religion
The ineffability of the infinite/transcendent/numinous/holy
Distinguish – knowledge, cognition & experience
Self-validating claims
Encounters with the transcendent –> possibilities for transformation
The mysticism of reading
Lived quality – dread, anxiety & alienation
Romantic hermeneutics
‘mysterium tremendum et fascinens’
Higher feelings, endless energies, eternal mind
Universe ~ world ~ life ~ God ~ Man
Original insight
Wondrous givenness
The strange blessedness of absolute dependence
Eudaemonists
Reading body
Materialist theories
– Aporia ~ abyss ~ crisis
– Is Paul Ricoeur a Christian?
– Distinguish:
Shortcuts (–> dead end!)
&
Bypasses (dead end –> )
– “Inspiration is merely the religious name for freedom.”
– Marriage:
OT – conservative orthodoxy – centrality of family.
Eschaton – new creation – no family.
NT – in between the above 2 – transformed community (transcending family)!
Past, future & the in-between present.
The past is definitely passing away… And the Future is pressing in upon us!
It is better to be prepared for the Coming, rather than be stuck facing backward.
4.9.16
– “Crown him”, “before the gods”
Psalm 23:5 + 138:1b, 4a
Polemical worship!
– “Help us to honor you”
– Cultural morality
Vs.
Eternal holiness
– Do you believe there is ONE who vindicates the few against the many?
– Gratitude
Vs.
Capitalism
– All superheroes are weirdos, & therefore outcasts!
– Yes, you want to believe He can move (your) mountains.
But what if He wants to blot out the entire horizon?! Will you let Him??
Yes, you want to believe that He will catch you before you trip off the edge.
But what if He wants to push you off, to make you fly?! What then??
– Re(verse)-assurance 😉
– Corpus ~ amount
– Because of the Resurrection, you know that your labour (in the Lord’s work) will never be in vain, therefore you can continue working enthusiastically, in spite of all the setbacks.
When you remember that your destiny is victory, then you can overcome the defeated mindset.
– “Now when this…… then the saying that is written will happen”!
– Spiritual realty
Building projects
&
Vineyard labour
Reclaiming the colonized areas!
– 2 approaches to time:
1. Moving from the past to the future, through the present.
2. Moving from the future to the present, through the past!
– “Remember me”
Or else forget, and live n die in vain!
– Female seminary
– Annie Dillard
Emily Dickinson
“Some keep the Sabbath going to Church
I keep it, staying at Home.”
– Your Word is a light that blinds me, and an explosive that makes the path
– “Training for Utopia”
Atopia
Ootopia
– There is a kind of masculinity that emasculates the other, & a kind of majesty that dignifies the other!
Distinguish:
Emasculated
&
Effeminate
5.9.16
– My magic formula:
Work soft, party hard! 😀
And never stop thinking, about everything, in every way……
– The New Wave (of?)
– If you can’t beat them, don’t join them.
Let them beat you!
– If you have no enemies, then you don’t have any friends either.
– The logic of obfuscation
– “The meaning of the utterance, I repeat, is its experience”
– All description is (also) interpretation.
And all interpretation also involves imagination.
And all imagination is influenced by social/personal context.
6.9.16
– Scopophilia and specularization
– All dichotomies are false…!?
And monism/advaita (non-dualism) is no better either.
Maybe pluralism is the only realistic description of our existence…
– Postmodernity is not equal to relativism.
– From doctor/teacher/counselor to patient/attender/friend 😉
Hmmm… going down??
– Add cafes, public transport, open libraries, etc. for solo outings.
– “You (God) cause me to know, & help me walk in, the way that leads to full & lasting life.”
Joy as the perfection of peace!
– Dieting (to lose weight) – break the strict routine only for one meal (NOT one day!) a week.
– Brain:
Flexibility & problem-solving
Multi-tasking & focus
Logic & emotion
Impulse control & speed
– POTUS
‘On the stump’
– The political element in natural disasters
– Tropical cyclone
Storm surge
– lander (space)
– Democracy
Vs.
Patriotism
– Dissent – just a right or also a duty?
– politoons
Venal politicians & unscrupulous bureaucrats
Lip service & stage-managed photo-op events
– “You’re only as vulnerable as you allow yourself to be.”
The freedoms that we enjoy are constantly at threat.
“Power is a potent aphrodisiac.”
– Modinomics
Swaraj –> Surajya
Reform –> perform –> transform
– “The informed reader”
– “My reply to your question on method:
1. Each discipline has its own field, goals, tools, style, etc. of enquiry. But the divisions between the various disciplines are coming down, & inter- or multi-disciplinary work is becoming more common & important.
2. Especially a discourse like Theology (including Biblical Studies) is done in dialogue with other fields like Philosophy, Social Sciences, other Humanities, even the Natural & Life Sciences. Theology can have its own core resources & tradition, but doing it in a mutually reciprocal manner with these allied areas is crucial.
3. Finally, when it comes to my own theological method, it is a perichoretic model with Scripture, tradition, culture, personal experience, intellect, community, Spirit, etc. None of these things can be fixed as the central authority! They are all interacting in an interdependent manner, so the results are always dynamic & tentative… Process is all!”
– Is the lack of parental intimacy in my infancy in some way related to my deep hesitation & suspicion of my own (potential) parenthood?
– Marriage is not unique as the one-flesh union, since even sex with a prostitute has the same status. But spiritual oneness (E.g. With Christ) is greater.

RANDOM

24.8.16
– Keep the notion of “the kingdom of God” in the NT (especially the Gospels) always firmly connected with the history of (theocracy/monarchy in) Israel.
– Rebuilding the city – temple/Law –> walls/houses
– Reading the writings of the great apostles/prophets (both OT & NT) critically (identifying the faults in their teachings and conduct), in the light of the spirit of the entire Bible, is essential for faithful Christian living!
– Messiah ~ Temple ~ Kingdom
Messiah ~ New Adam/new Moses/new David
– Genealogy – KNOW your family history!
– Reshaping the past, in order to build a hopeful future
– Respect & trust your teacher/leader.
Don’t think YOU know better. Don’t be too suspicious.
Be teachable.
But at the same time, DON’T blindly follow him/her.
– Proverb – “Silence is the fool’s shield, & the sage’s weapon”
I can understand the first half, but not the second…
– Yatagarasu (play)
“The you in you that you never knew!”
– GOD as pure act & revelation as event
– Enter the abyss:
Emptiness
Nothingness
Blankness
Darkness
Silence
When you get a taste/glimpse of GOD, you experience him as the opposite of the dogmas!
– Non-celibate priests are like lungs without oxygen. Right?
Sexual sublimation is a hoax. Right?
– Naked ~ solo ~ free ~ dead
– I guess spiritual growth starts with a naïve optimism, then a grave realism, & finally a leonine laughter!
– There should be no fixed/absolute centre among the elements of theology (Scripture, Spirit, tradition, reason, experience, body, community, culture, etc.). They should all be in a perichoretic dialectic!
– Desire –> believe –> think –> feel
– Oh God! I need to escape from being inundated by this verbosity…
26.8.16
– bootstrapping
– Revive the vernaculars!
Tirukkural, Bhagavad Gita, etc.
– teacherplus.org
For all those interested/involved in education
Oh the joys and heartaches of being a teacher……!
Consider your people (NOT ‘flock’!) as a GOD-given trust.
– “Yatagarasu” (Hindu MPTF) – more of a song-&-dance performance than a play proper!
To what extent does the theater ambiance and audience affect the performance/quality of a play?
– Self-mentoring – folly/hubris??
– Reality/value/importance:
Material > economic > financial
– Opposition as relation
– “Solitude is good, but not when you’re alone”
– The Roman Catholic doctrine of the immaculate conception (of Mary)
Vs.
The Protestant doctrine of the infallibility of (the human authors of) Scripture/canon
Screw both! 😉
– Budget (monthly income) – 10% giving (charity) + 10% investment (LIC) + 10% saving (gold) + 10% buffer (SB)
So, only 60% for other monthly expenses!?
– I think the maximal potential of an adult (in terms of spiritual maturity & physical ability) is during the 35 – 45 period.
But what if this decade is consumed with child-rearing & taking care of ageing parents??
Or mid-life depression?!
Hmmm…… how can I be intentional & smart about this?
– Distinguish:
Moral,
Ethical &
Legal
– decriminalization
– Pupil:
“What is enlightenment?”
Master:
“When you’re hungry, eat. When you’re tired, sleep.”
Inner voice
Vs.
Outer noise
Outer voice
Vs.
Inner noise
– Check out http://www.zishy.com/ – Real girl mischief!
Zishy meaning – stuff that leave something to the imagination 😉
– Brain games:
Lumosity – Elevate – Peak
– Working through conflict together –> increased intimacy!
WOW 😊
– My newsletter subscriptions:
Daily Manna from Biblica
Gospel Reflection from Notre Dame
Brain Pickings
Weekly Poem from Jayne Ferrer
School of Life
Web MD
World Wisdom quotes
Prime Minister of India
Mozilla
Good Reads
Pocket
– Mat. 25:1-13 (NET)
And the wise virgins said, “NO”!
Always have extra (buffer/margin).
Wise ~ alert in the present & prepared for the future.
They all slept, including the wise. Not all who are relaxed are safe!
He said, I DON’T KNOW YOU ~ Beware, for YOU DON’T KNOW
“The road to Hell is paved with good intentions.” – Søren Kierkegaard
The Kingdom ~ my death ~ the Second Coming ~ the destruction of the earth ~ New Age – DON’T relegate it to the (distant) future!
Wisdom as gift
Vs.
Wisdom as discipline
Prayer as the watchfulness that discerns the presence of GOD in every place, therefore making every moment weighty!
– Am I a ‘blogger’?
27.8.16
– “Anxiety is the dizziness of freedom” – Kierkegaard
Ah! I know exactly what that means. 😬
Oh how peacefully these others live……! 😦
28.8.16
– tableaux vivant
29.8.16
– “You are not the only one, who feels like the only one.” – David Crowder Band
30.8.16
– Daily rhythm – when you have important thing-to-do that were left undone yesterday, then give those items priority today.
So the daily schedule is primarily not about the division between each day, but the list/order of tasks to be completed.
Or, maybe the daily to-do list must be systematically spread over two days, if the rhythm is to be truly contemplative……!
– cladistics
– Do you know how thin the ice, that you’re standing on, is?!
– bisensual
– “The soul is the prison of the body”
“The politics of meaning”
Circular method
Subjectification ~ soularization
Force-fields & power-relations
Practices & resistances
The diffusion of power
Systems > institutions
New Criticism
Historical plays
Data mining & conceptual mapping
Fractal landscape
Reservoir of artefacts
Poetics & politics
Patriarchy, androcentrism & heterosexualism
Hierarchy of logics
Subjective relativism & social atomism
“monos pros monon”
“amor sui”
GOD’S eros as Kingdom ethos
– Psychological truths
– SwiftKey is not able to (auto-)correct words when the first letter is (typed) wrong
– elide
– What does sex/desire have to do with death/destruction?
Everything!
– The fraud of power & the power of fraud
The law of love & desiring the good