Category: Uncategorized

THOUGHTS

14.10.20
– Asexual romances
16.10.20
  • Distinguish: (adjectives)
Health
&
Medical
E.g. In insurance, care, check-up, etc.
17.10.20
  • Pre-edge
15.10.20
– I take care of you >> I support you to take care of yourself
You take care of me >> you support me to take care of myself
Distinguish:
Responsibility (individual)
&
Help (social)
– The major life-decision of where to live is no less important than what you do and who you’re with!
Choose carefully.
Better to stay in touch with one’s roots (home culture, social network, local issues, etc.), unless there are exceptional problems with that.
– Keep distance, be active AND stay in touch!
– bassinet
Mediterranean diet
Unused vacations
Caco-2 cell model
IronCatch
Soda tax
– ⚠️📢 Dear folks…
Who would be interested in joining a WhatsApp group for organizing games periodically (around once a month or so, with no fixed commitments) – friends & family, playing together, remotely!
Those who are willing to give this new venture a try, let me know.
PEACE ✌🏽
18.10.20
– Genes & memes
Integral theory
19.10.20
– Unolingo (from the Curious app)
– Grace:
The gift as task,
And the task as gift!
20.10.20
– Voice over WiFi!
– When deciding what to do (with your life), take wings.
And when you choose where to live (for the rest of your life), put down roots.
21.10.20
– Apps2Fire
– I live where heaven & Hell meet…
Fuck Canada! 😎
27.10.20
– Momentous trash
Estranging oddness
shambolic
feculent
congeries
limn
– Movies:
A good marriage (1982)
The old guard (2020)
28.10.20
– Non-sexual wet dreams

1.11.20

– Movies:
Creed 2

– Tamil Nadu Day

2.11.20

– readwise.io
workflow
Rare metal(s)

– Thinking, in terms of time, rather than space…
Thinking in terms of gravity, instead of time…!

*
Movies:

“காதலும் கடந்து போகும்”

3.11.20

– In-utero existence ~ unconscious mind ~ dream/fantasy ~ ancestral/contextual consciousness

– “I don’t wanna run away from violence.” – Eugene Peterson

– Why name a chat app “Discord”?!

– “Highest rates of misinformation in key battleground states”

– Stoned:
Have you ever felt omnipotent? I have!
And, after imagining all the possible options, for where I could be and what I could do, I realized that all I ever wanted was the here & now…… 😌

– Tamil Nadu Day – Nov. 1!
We are Tamilians…
so let us live (settle down & engage locally as permanent native residents) in Tamil Nadu, unless there is an exceptional situation, which forces us to flee elsewhere

Do NOT covet! 😎
If we see our neighbor living in a posh house that is grander than our own, would we be pining to somehow go and live there, or would we also look at the (hidden) advantages (and the moral pride) of one’s own home??
“Home is where the heart is”
“Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also”
When it comes to what you do, take wings! And when it comes to where you live, put down roots! ✌🏽

Tamilian/Indian – this our identity, whether we like it or not!
Whoever talks of “GOD’S will” and is ignorant of this, is truly an idiot.
And whoever lives as if such matters are unimportant, and pursue economic gains as the sole value, are nothing but spineless mercenaries……
Let not our children suffer an identity crisis/vacuum, because of our short-sightedness.

– What is the relationship between MNCs and nation-states?
How does one (ethically) relate one’s own cultural/political identity and this globalized/capitalistic world?

– Would the collective impact of the unknown heroes, on the world, be greater than the famous giants?

4.11.20

– Dream:
Dr. Gio is sharing about his spiritual crisis in a panel discussion, of which I am a part. I start weeping (secretly), wondering how to respond……

– Heidegger & Nazism
Potential non-existence
“Cursory pantheon of precursors”
“Marginal objects in liminal spheres”
Philological attentiveness

– The body has been infected with a virus (sin?!), and has become either dumb or stupid, that’s why I need an intellectual structure/law to guide me

– geometer
primate
concept-ion

– The OSM is not just a means of promoting “spiritual growth”, but a method of de-constructing & re-inventing it!
Anti-positivistic endeavor

– Seemingly natural
Distinguish:
Biological culture
&
Cultural biology

– I struggle as much to derive any thought from pleasure (of being stoned), as I do with deriving pleasure from sober life!

– Enjoyment + knowledge = melancholy!

– Maybe my intractable boredom just shows that I am a dumb genius who is simply blind to the glory of his very existence!

5.11.20

– femsplaining
inspiriting
Mansplaining feminism
Rape culture
Sexual entitlement
Taboo-busting – “Let’s talk about (talking about) sex”
casserole

7.11.20

– Who is “Naga seminarian” (YT)?

– sandbox
Success as global phenomenon
Electoral college

8.11.20

– mammonism
techno-clerisy
Perceived illegitimate authority
Government ~ manipulation
Speculative fiction

NEWS

15.9.20
– disport
  • Movies:
“Let the right one in”
  • Upload your ebooks to Google Play Books and start reading across devices & OSs, with page-syncing & highlights-notes auto-save in Docs – all this for free!
16.9.20
– mein
17.9.20
– 4 px = 1 mm
– Can you freak out, with no drugs?!
18.9.20
– Google Suite Vs. Microsoft Office Premium
– “I’m your average ordinary everyday kid –
Happy to do nothin’,
In fact that’s what I did.
I got a million ways to make my day,
But daddy don’t agree!
‘Cause when I try to get away
He says he got plans for me.” – Def Leppard
Keep every option (chores, bodily needs, immediate physical environment, personal drives, etc.) at each & all moments! 
Then, you feel alive, any day…… 
– Paradox ~ moment ~ miracle ~ GOD ~ absurd
Religious dogmas ~ spiritual experiences ~ philosophical ideas
19.9.20
– Peter Wessel Zapffe
Maurice Blondel
Brian Little
Michael Greene
– How can spiritual growth be promoted among the (economically) poor??
20.9.20
– Off on a bender
Unsuitable for a sensitive audience
21.9.20
– (pussy)calor
– Resilio Sync
Uninstall survey
Antiques & antics
– Movies:
“The Brown Bunny”
“The Color of Night”
“Henry & June”
– TV series:
Mine – Deadwood
Ours – Black Mirror
24.9.20
– High valley
– From dialectic to paradox!
Sovereignty is the potential to be unfree!
The absolute difference
That’s not gonna cut it!
Faith as paradoxical belief
26.9.20
– haters
– Neither the person of the artist, nor the work of art is immortal. But art IS immortality!
– Pincer movement
peroration
Temperance reform
meliorist
Digital Signature Certificate (DSC)
27.9.20
– “Happy Nazis”
28.9.20
– “The Immaculate Collection” by Madonna
– (Just) place-holders (these) 
– Last night’s dream: (Ah! I gotcha this time 😎)
Vinolia is watching Lord of the Rings (?) with me (and other cousins). It’s ultra-realistic, with a 3D hologram of Sauron! Just before the war scene, the caption is, “The Sex” 😜
– Ontological ethics – even humans are NOT “human(e)”!
– Rahul Tewatia
arhatia
Habeas corpus
Qui vive
OECD
MSP
Price realisation
29.9.20
– Loperamide high
  • horr-opera
30.9.20
– “The language of Adam”
Runic stone
Partial body
Torturous metamorphosis
Base religion & inutile criminality 
Sacrificial cult
Sumptuory ritual
Martial passion
Monastic extravagance
Gilles de Rais
– Gift ~ waste
The sovereign value of the instant
Work, for the sake of, play!
Sickly-sweet
Berzerkers
Cruel voluptuosities & intoxicating ravages 
Ultimate inanity
The attempt to delect in death
Khavn
Scatological scopophilia
The unnavigable gulf of oblivion
– Movies:
“Ruined Heart: Another love story between a criminal and a whore”
“16 வயதினிலே”
– artitude
– Flow Vs. Distinction
Flow Vs. Survival
Flow Vs. Control
6.10.20
– knowlarity
– My mother died on October 1st around 7:30 am.
Remember what Bataille did in the room where his mother’s corpse was kept? I did something similar too! 🙃
– Dream:
I am in a shady & posh office space, meeting a mysterious & charismatic man. It seems like he has many people working there (“for him”?), and I don’t know why I am there. Does he want me to use my (formidable) intellect for his vague (?sinister) project… Is he the Devil himself attempting to strike a deal with me, on the sale of my soul?
– Death of a near dear one >> revival of family solidarity (around her corpse) – celebration of community in personal death!
Somewhat like the sprouting of a seed fallen into the soil……
7.10.20
– Psalms 39:13
&
Song 6:5
– nones
11.10.20
– You have no clue, as to what extent, others are a part of you, and vice-versa!
– Dream:
Salome is in an extramarital sexual relationship with Vijayalaya! And I’m very upset about it, but she doesn’t give a damn…… This hurts me even more deeply!
Salome is taken for emergency cesarean section. I rush, but the baby seems to be stillborn……
12.10.20
– Subsumptive reasoning
The non-identical/heterogenous/singular/fragment

PENSEES

19.8.20

– Instead of shoveling out lot of stuff from all the layers of your expedition, why don’t you wait to get to the one pearl from the greatest depth…?
The pearl, from my last deep-dive:
S – L – O – W  I T  D – O – W – N !
This merges the mundane and the ethereal

– Kind & tactful truth-telling

20.8.20

– averments
Prashant Bhushan
Bona-fide beliefs
contemnor

21.8.20

– The false body
Soma Vs. Sarx
Richard Schustermann

24.8.20

– “Republicans against Trump”

25.8.20

– “I may destroy you”

27.8.20

– “Enemies with benefits”

30.8.20

*
Disapprobation
*
Impetuous

 

– Understanding myself from within and with you >>
You understanding yourself from within and with me >>
Me understanding you & you understanding me >>
You & me understanding our relationship (what’s going on between you & me)!

– ReasonIO & Gregory Sadler

31.8.20

– தத்துவப் பாடல்கள்

2.9.20

– Not The Onion

3.9.20

– Object lessons & acted parables

– “Throwing myself… (bury my eyes) into this life”
The point of diminishing returns
Reflection Vs. Living

5.9.20

– moratorium

10.9.20

– Passion, faith & discipline

– Give yourself (some) time, to be depressed!

*
Balancing >> harmonizing >> integration
*
scholium

 

11.9.20

– Mishima Christi – the Cross as sepukku

– UGK, the blind and dumb Bataillean prototype

– Life is the engine of death

12.9.20

– Trust is the fundamental one out of the 3 elements of love!
To love is to trust that you respect, and care for, me.

– Movies:
Our Children – 2012 (Belgium)
Bombshell (2019)

– What is choice, without boundaries?!

RANTINGS

21.7.20
– subitize
23.7.20
– “The queer art of failure”
– Enjoying the failure to enjoy life
– The only living truth, is that, love is stronger than death!
– And how do you feel when she does that?
– Maintain the same posture, and…… BREATHE!
28.7.20
– Guilty pleasures
&
Artistic edification
29.7.20
– cad
wheedle
nob
vis
– The greatest purpose of life is timepass!
– L-O-V-E – Listen to the one voice emerging – organism consciousness/frequency!
Your reflective listening helping me to better understand what/why/how I am saying – saying what I mean and meaning what I say.
Listening >> understanding >> agreement >> acting together
A + B + C = getting the clear picture of the whole – evolving co-intelligence
Charge/polarity: +/-
Minus – taking/asking; Plus – giving/offering
“It is more blessed to give (+) than to receive (-)”! 
Distinguish pause in the thread (horizontal) & asking for silence (vertical)
q-A is for anyone in the us, not only the me
q6 comes before q7/q-C – “Be quick to listen & slow to speak”
The array diagram is in 3D, that’s why it looks asymmetrical in 2D!
Experiencing the 4D reality is more important.
– Far-UVC light
EIA 2020
– My motto:
Be true, enjoy life & make a difference!
30.7.20
– Touch the (base of the) TIP
– desultory
dulcimer
aplomb
– If I told you, “You could have the greatest pleasurable experience ever possible, but then you would forget it ever happened”, would you still say YES?!
– It’s enough for me to know that IT exists! 😎
– Using words, to show that words don’t even come close, including this!
– Replace present with pussy, then see what happens. Just don’t blog it!
– You guys…… Seriously??
What kinda party is this?!
The best kinda party, of course!!
– This is how your reality becomes your fantasy! 🙂
– this woke up life
Typed by audio ☝🏾
👇🏾
Woke Up This Life
– I’m AWESOME!
I intended to close my eyes at 18:55 of the video and open at 20:00.
And I did!
After that, I watched in perfect stillness for one more minute. Just the minute before writing this! 😉
– Watched an entire video in slo-mo!
Couldn’t distinguish between fast & slo………………
– Start what you completed.
– Recording of a screenshot
And the
Screenshot
Of
A
R
_ecording
– Real-world porn-stars
– Do you know what it is like, to be exhausted of pleasure?
I DO.
– Spread the energy from this throbbing/pulsating spot, to every nook & cranny of the your universal life!
– Stay
(still)
…… till the rest of the video
– No matter what you do, it makes no difference,
NOW
go out and change the world! 👊🏾
FUCK YEAH 🤟🏾
– AWE-rimming
Oh GOD Og goG
You’re so fun.
– ………. and the molten golden lava (GML) river, flowed into my right ear, went across my brain, and came out through my left……….
– Time is an illusion.
No.
Time is THE illusion.
– The happy life
OR
A glorious existence
CHOOSE! ☝🏾
– If doing the same thing over & over again feels amazing, would you still want difference?
No, I would want BOTH! ✌🏽
Yes, I can make it happen.
I can.
Yes, I can.
TRUST
– Death is to life what everyday living is to THIS.
How could I still be making sense?
This shouldn’t be possible!
Ha ha ha ha ha ha
– Soliloquy – even the/my descent is too high (for you)
– These stoned journal entries of mine is Faust for my generation.
HAIL SATAN! 😈
– The high lasts long enough for you to experience it as eternal life or the kingdom of heaven.
And it is real enough to make you feel absolutely fantastic, and it is fantastic enough to make you believe its real.
– From stardust to ashes
And back
Archives of the deleted
– Is it better to (not) know that we are living in the best of all possible worlds?
– What is the difference between the moaning of the one being fingered, and the one fingering?
Can’t you tell yet!
– Unlimited energy, available
– to move from the pursuit of happyness to living gloriously!
– Contrast:
Life is failure
&
Failure as life
– Subtitle reader
– “Love me like a ritual,
I will be your medicine man.” – Winger
“Real Love,
Where are you?
I need you!
Love, love, love
Real Love…
I love you.” – Slaughter
1.8.20
– Spiritual disciplines – not magical “means of transformation”, but just ways to keep the desire for personal growth alive! That’s why they work. They keep us open to GRACE!
Actively engaging in cultivating the passive capacity of reception……
NEGATIVE work
– Who am I? What am I?
Have you realized this yet??
If not, how do you know how best to deal with your circumstances and relate to others in your life?!
E.g. Are you an alpha or a beta (male)? Are you a driven or contented person? Are you a dominant or submissive (female)?
There is no shame in accepting who you are and building on it, the only shame is trying to be(come) someone else all your life……
Have you seen the sidekick character in films? Of course, he/she is the hero of their own life yes ☝🏾, but they find their true selves only in playing the supporting role to another. ✌🏽
Or maybe I am just a narcissist, relentlessly (& remorselessly) objectifying everyone around me…? 🙃
But what if I’m not! 👊🏾
What if these are not just grandiose delusions, but just the plain truth?
– Compare album covers:
MJ’s Dangerous
&
Bob Dylan’s All Along the Watchtower
– Simply Red – If I don’t know me by now,
I will never never never know me…! 🙃
My job is to show you who you are, for, apart from the mirror, nobody can see their own face.
But then, how do I know myself? By showing others who they really are, I realize who I am, in the process!
– MJ
Give in to me (Me to you)
&
Dirty Diana (You to me)
The guru-sishya romance
The mutual realization of the ego & the unconscious through the ritualized dance of BDSM!
“Like a ritual” – Winger
I need (to give to) you and you need (to receive from) me
– Why don’t I like the language of rights, and activists of these various social justice movements??
– கர்த்தாவே, நீர் வெளிப்படுத்தினதை நான் கேட்டேன், எனக்குப் பயமுண்டாயிற்று; கர்த்தாவே, வருஷங்களின் நடுவிலே உம்முடைய கிரியையை உயிர்ப்பியும், வருஷங்களின் நடுவிலே அதை விளங்கப்பண்ணும், கோபித்தாலும் இரக்கத்தை நினைத்தருளும்.
ஆபகூக் 3:2
O LORD, I have heard thy speech, and was afraid: O LORD, revive thy work in the midst of the years, in the midst of the years make known; in wrath remember mercy.
Hab. 3:2
– Psychedelic + porn + masturbation + meditation + solitude + abstinence + romance = sexual fulfillment!
At least 3 (preferably all) of these elements in dynamic interactive equal combination, on an intense, balanced, long-term rhythm!
– Heirloom – Christian fucking metal!
3.8.20
– Present – the gift of the moment!
– “Freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose.” – Janis Joplin
– Shell company
Rare earths
Full-cycle economics
Reputational risks
Skeptical environmentalist
Group-think & Confirmation bias
5.8.20
– Vomiting the rainbow
&
Drinking through my ears
– I should conduct an OSM when stoned! 😈
Amen.
YES, lord!
– re-member this feeling!
– Next time, try to fail accidentally!
Okay?
This is my only prayer.
GOD is kneeling down in Heaven and praying for these fucking prayer-warriors to get up and DO something…… 🙄
– “Leave you(r) f(e)ar behind!”
– Let me be your ASMR, dears! 😘
– “I can never die”
I CAN live forever
I can NEVER come to terms with my own death
BOTH/AND?
– Apply the hash oil at that spot and then feel a local orgasm building up!
4 hour orgy – can you beat this?!
10.8.20
– Spiritual chicanery
obstreperous
alienist
osteopathy
– 17:28 left
– Today, I have fulfilled the purpose of my life – I have proven (for, to & in myself) that the Gospel IS INDEED true! 😁
– Image – me Perry Mason PM & GOD Sister Alice
I have seen the secret of life, therefore, Rejoice!
My friends……
12.8.20
– The day after my 42nd birthday – the first day of my resurrection!
– “Don’t you EVER cry TONIGHT!”
– Enlightenment scene from “Never Look Away”
– I AM (identifying with) the Rejected messiah!
– Mistrial
– syndicate (v.)
influencers
13.8.20
– No refractory period after orgasm…? WOW!
– Bodhisattva ~ Pentecost ~ me bringing out the treasures from my own enlightenings
– Chellam’s birthday greeting card cover art – “The Last Station” film – death/departure scene
14.8.20
– Connect:
The amputation scene in “I Know This Much is True”
&
The suicide of Mark Fisher
My own melancholia……
Maybe a little bit of Jordan Peterson’s existential/individualistic truth therapy may have “saved” Mark’s life……?
– JFF ~ just for fun ~ joyous friends forever
– shamrock
– metaphysical tan-lines
– OSM – as you all breathe according to my guidance, I resuscitate your dead spirits through my breath(y voice)! 👁️
– Perry Mason – last episode of first season is Holy Saturday is our lives is love is GOD.
– Am I going crazy, my dear?
I may destroy you.
– From nearly there… to
NOW-ly here!
– Long-forgotten threads, left abruptly hanging,
Waiting,
Longing,
Preparing,
To be picked up again!
– It lets me be who I wanna be,
When I think more than I ought to think.
– Crystalline Black 🖤
– “What’s beyond Murder?”
– wog
15.8.20
– My life – can you see the method in the madness?
OSM – can you see the madness in the method?
– Saviour without salvation (rejected messiah)
Vs.
Salvation without saviour (atheist faith)
16.8.20
– haymaker
Cards against humanity
Great glibness & unctuous egoism
Sponging preachers & hypocritical jargon
Moral mendacity & tribal self-interest
meliorism
Declamatory flights
Exegetical elasticity
cognizable
effete
tweed
charnel
nostrum
– What/who are you, outside your own constituency?

– How does her pussy feel, when she’s eating another girl’s?
I wanna feel that!
17.8.20
– Hastening (the End) by anticipating (the New)
– “Omae wa mou shindeiru” – “You’re already dead” (Naruto)
– Now you’ve got something to die for (Lamb of God) + Revolutionary army (Penny Dreadful)